Needed You
by IctCowgrrl
Summary: Inspired by the Lady Antebellum song, Need You Now.  Alex returned to the 1-6, but not to the one who loves her.  Is there hope for them or is it truly over between her and Olivia?  Spoilers for Lead and Conviction
1. Chapter 1

The light of the fire reflected in the glass of red wine resting on the coffee table as its owner reclined on her sofa with her eyes closed. Soft jazz music played on the stereo, quelling the silence of the apartment. It was late, but sleep was elusive and she had hoped the wine and music would relax her enough to fall asleep, but her mind kept bringing up memories of the past few weeks. Eventually, Alex Cabot's thoughts turned back to the one subject she had been trying to avoid, the beautiful brunette Special Victims detective she worked with.

Sighing softly, Alex sat up and leaned forward, picked up her wine glass and sipped from it as her gaze was drawn to the flickering flames in the fireplace. Her return to SVU had been unexpected. She had asked to be reassigned and a new ADA was sorely needed there after her colleague, Casey Novak, had been disbarred. At first, she had welcomed the chance to finally reconnect with those aspects of her life that she had been avoiding for the past three years. Now, however, she questioned the wisdom of that decision.

When she had returned to New York, she had begun to pick up the pieces of her former life, at least where her career was concerned. However, any personal contacts, save for family, were pushed aside and seemingly forgotten as she walked the path expected of her. She came from a family of means and there were certain societal and personal obligations that her family, more specifically her Uncle, Judge William Harriman, insisted she fulfill.

A Cabot heir was expected to be fully involved in the affairs of the family's business interests. They were expected to marry into a family befitting their class, and, above all, they were expected to be the best at their chosen careers and reach a pinnacle of success worthy of the generations of Cabots that came before them and set an example for future generations to follow. For Alexandra Cabot, that meant pursuing a path that would lead to her election as the District Attorney for New York City and marrying a man of equal ambition and stature, as well as produce the next generation of Cabot heirs.

At loose ends, feeling lost and disoriented with the many changes her life had taken in such a short time, she willingly let herself be lead down the path well trodden by the generations of Cabots before her. It was an easy trap to fall into it. The celebrations of her return lead to dates with men foisted on her by well meaning cousins or friends. She attended charity fundraisers benefiting the many Cabot foundations and causes, where she was seen as the conquering hero who had stood up for justice against the forces of evil, and finally, she became engaged to a man seen as well suited for one of her lineage. Reflecting back on it now, she was less than pleased with herself, embarrassed even, and she was reaping the results of her actions. The detectives at SVU had been, at first, stunned by her return and then a bit angry and bitter, especially Olivia Benson.

Alex shivered slightly as she remembered the emotions that had flitted across the brunette's face as her eyes met Olivia's for the first time in nearly five years before the detective had hid her feelings behind her stoic cop facade. She was prepared for a fight and the bitterness she found, but when Olivia gave her the cold shoulder, it hurt more than Alex had been expecting. She wondered if the fight had gone out of the fiery detective over the years or whether Olivia just didn't care anymore.

Rubbing hands along her arms, Alex got up to retrieve a throw from the closet and tugged it down from the shelf above the coat rack. Alex didn't see the box resting besides it until it tumbled down, spilling it's contents on the closet and hallway floor.

"Shit," she muttered as she crouched to pick up the mess.

Her gaze landed on a hodgepodge of seemingly unrelated items, but as she picked up the box and began picking up each item to return to it, her heart began to beat a little faster. It was a box of keepsakes that had been stored at her mother's house, along with other items salvaged from Alex's apartment after her supposed death, and kept along with items left by her mother after the older woman had died. Sea shells from trips to the beach, a stray piece of jewelry given with tender devotion, and photographs from happier days littered the floor, bringing each memory they held to the forefront of her mind.

Alex, the chill now forgotten, slid to the floor amongst the memories and picked up a handful of photos and began shuffling through them. She studied the images of a happy couple in various poses, in a variety of venues, and felt a stab of envy. Velez had ripped her from her happy existence and she now wondered if she would ever find such happiness again. She stared at the picture in her hand of she and Olivia, taken at a barbeque at Elliott Stabler's house, and a long sigh left her lips as a lean finger traced over Olivia's features.

"Oh Olivia," she whispered softly as a single tear slid down her cheek.

She wondered if her ex-lover ever thought about her and if those thoughts were fond or filled with bitterness and regret. As she continued to thumb through the pictures, she felt a longing to talk to Olivia and try to clear the air between them. However, Alex had promised herself that she wouldn't call the other woman. If Olivia wanted to talk to her, Olivia could call her or at least stop giving her the cold shoulder. Now, however, looking at the memories the two women had made together and missing the closeness and the passion they once shared, Alex was tempted to give in and make the call.

Getting off of the floor, Alex made her way to the telephone and she glanced at the clock on her mantel. It was late, after one in the morning. Alex sighed and reconsidered calling her ex-lover. If she woke her up, Olivia wouldn't be happy with her and would most likely hang up. However, Alex felt a strong need to talk with the brunette and picked up the phone, dialing the familiar number.

* * *

The subdued lighting and quiet camaraderie of the bar was welcome after a long day, a long week, of work that was, as always, depressing and frustrating. Long, lean fingers twirled a short tumbler, watching the play of light against the amber liquid through the glass dispassionately. Swallowing what remained of the scotch, Olivia Benson lifted her empty glass for the bartender, silently asking for another drink, and sat it back down again. Glancing at her watch, she sighed and ran a hand over her weary face and briefly considered going home.

She nearly snorted at the thought of the empty apartment as home. Her home wasn't the place where she collected her mail and kept her personal possessions, for all intended purposes, her home was the precinct where she worked. She was there more than she was at her apartment and the people Olivia worked with were really the only family she had. Olivia smiled slightly at the bartender as he sat another drink down in front of her. Olivia considered it for a moment before picking it up. While she loved her job, it depressed her that it was the only thing she had in her life. Her dreams of a family of her own seemed out of reach, especially since there was no one in her life that she would consider settling down with.

Lifting the glass, she sipped the liquor slowly, the burn going down her throat dulled by the consumption of the previous drink. A gust of cool, wet wind from the opening of the bar's entrance caught her attention and her eyes glanced toward the mirror behind the wooden bar and a glimpse of blonde hair made her breath hitch.

Turning in her seat, she spotted the blonde entering with two other women, smiling and laughing as they looked for a place to sit. They walked with confidence, as if they owned the place, much the same way Alex had when she would join the detectives for drinks after work. The mystery blonde was an attractive woman, tall and slender with a beautiful smile. Glancing at her equally lovely companions briefly, Olivia returned her gaze to the blonde, noting her stylish clothing as she shrugged out of a wool coat. Unbidden memories, memories she had been trying to drown, came to the forefront of her mind and Olivia indulged them briefly.

Closing her eyes, she remembered Alex's laugh, her scent after coming in from a cold day, and the smile meant only for the brunette when the blonde crossed the room. Olivia's jaw tightened as the more pleasant memories were shoved aside by feelings of resentment and betrayal at seeing the attorney after Alex's involuntary absence had turned into the woman voluntarily staying away from friends at the precinct, staying away from her. Turning away from the women, she gulped down the remaining liquid in her glass and pushed it forward for the bartender to refill when he came by.

Her senses dulled by the scotch, she took out her cell phone and glanced at the screen. Thumbing through the list of contacts, she came to one she had just added, Alex's new cell phone number. As she was once again working with the attorney, Olivia had been forced by necessity to enter the number into her cell phone. She had no intention of ever using, unless absolutely necessary, but now, she studied it, so tempted to push the call button and connect with the woman she had once loved. The one she still loved, if Olivia were honest with herself.

Before she could commit to the call, her shoulder was jostled as someone sat besides her. Glancing up, annoyed at the intrusion, she came face to face with the blonde she had been watching earlier. The beautiful smile she had admired greeted her and she couldn't help but return it with a slight one of her own.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump you."

The woman bit back a smirk and hardly looked contrite as her soft brown eyes met Olivia's. Olivia found her voice and bobbed her head in acceptance of the apology.

"No harm done."

"Let me buy you a drink to make up for it."

"Really, it's okay. You don't have to do that."

Olivia's mind was dull from the alcohol and the exhaustion that always seemed to hover around her. She tried to find the words to discourage the gorgeous stranger beside her, but the words wouldn't form in her mind. She glanced at the well manicured nails as the woman's hand landed softly on her forearm and gave a tiny squeeze.

"I insist."

Olivia finally agreed and the bartender filled her glass with two fingers of scotch and served the other woman a cosmopolitan. The brunette's fingers tightened around the phone as her companion's, whom she found out was Megan, perfume wafted over and teased her senses. It was a subtle musky scent that was refreshing, yet sensual and Olivia felt a stirring within her that she hadn't felt for a long time. She recognized the stirrings of lust and immediately felt guilty. She wasn't thinking of Megan, the beautiful woman at her side, but her mind was on the attorney who still owned her heart.

Glancing at the phone she still held within her tight grip, she saw that it was almost a quarter after one and reconsidered calling Alex. Surely, she would be in bed asleep by now, but Olivia almost desperately needed to hear the sound of her voice, though she was loath to admit it. Relenting to the overwhelming desire, she asked for her companion's indulgence and turned away from her, pressing the call button before she could talk herself out of it.

* * *

As Alex pushed the numbers into her phone, she heard the subtle turning of a key in the locked door and wiped the evidence of tears from her face as she snapped the phone closed and lay it down. Turning toward the door as it opened, a stiff smile graced her lips and she walked over to greet the newcomer.

"Hello darling," a soft kiss returned her greeting as her companion removed his coat.

"Jim. I wasn't expecting you tonight."

Taking the coat from him, she hung it up in the closet and shoved the box to the back with her foot before she closed the door.

"I was working late at the office and thought I would come by. I've missed you."

Alex didn't reply, but touched his shoulder in passing as Jim Steele removed his suit jacket and loosened his tie. He could tell she was upset about something and began to rethink his late night visit.

"If I came at a bad time..."

She waved away the suggestion as she moved toward the kitchen, the urge to call her former lover curtailed by the appearance of her present one.

"Are you hungry?"

Alex's query went unanswered as the buzzing of the vibrating cell phone caught Steele's attention. In two long stride's, he was at the hallway table where it lay and picked it up. He glanced at the caller id and his jaw set as Jim saw Olivia Benson's name on the screen. He had heard the old rumors about her and Alex's history, but dismissed it as office gossip. However, now that the two women worked together again, the rumor mill had started speculating if the two would get back together. It was late and even though the call was probably work related, he answered the call brusquely.

"ADA Cabot's phone."

* * *

Olivia was shocked into silence. That was certainly not the voice she had been expecting to answer.

"Hello?"

Olivia started as the second greeting and ran a hand over her face.

"Is...is Alex there?"

Her words were slightly slurred and her voice hesitant. Jim frowned, immediately realizing this call was personal, not professional, and he began to wonder if the rumors might be true. Instinctively, he fought to protect his territory.

"It's late Detective. Try calling back at a more appropriate hour when you're sober."

The call abruptly ended and Olivia looked down at the phone in her hand. Tears stung her eyes and she angrily stabbed at the button to shut it down. Now she knew why she had never heard from Alex. She had been replaced in the blonde's heart and Alex had moved on.

Forcing her emotions down, she turned back to Megan and pushed away the drink in front of her. After pocketing the phone, she placed her hand lightly on the other woman's thigh. It was time for her to move on as well.

"Would you care to join me for coffee at my place?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Alex found herself staring up at the ceiling, sleep once again eluding her. She glanced at the clock on her night stand and sighed at the time, 5:45. She listened to the ticking of the mantel clock echoing in the quiet apartment and hoped it would lull her to sleep, at least for an hour. However, the soft snores of the man sleeping at her side disrupted her concentration and she sighed again as she rolled onto her side.

Looking over at Jim, she felt her brow furrow as she studied his profile silhouetted by the dim light filtering through her window sheers. He had been acting strangely tonight and she couldn't quite put her finger on way he seemed so...off. It was as if he knew he didn't hold her attentions and he acted as if he were jealous of something or someone.

_She had offered to make him a bite to eat, preferring to make something for him herself rather than allow Jim free reign in her kitchen. Alex wasn't in love with the man and this was her subtle way of keeping him from becoming a permanent fixture in her apartment or her life. Instead of answering her question, he had joined her in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her and drew her body against his._

_"I'm not hungry for food," he stated just before his mouth descended to claim hers. Though he was trying to be suave and seductive, she wasn't in the mood to pretend to enjoy his attentions nor entertain him in the bedroom, especially after spending several moments lost in a past she missed dearly._

_Alex returned the kiss briefly, then pulled away from his embrace. She turned to get herself a glass of water and stiffened as she felt his arms slide around her waist and attempt to pull her back against his body again. She couldn't stand to feel him touching her tonight. It wasn't Steele that she wanted to be held by and loved by, so she shifted away from him again._

_"It's late Jim, I'm going to bed."_

_She had downed the water and placed the glass in the sink._

_She felt, rather than saw, Jim's hard gaze and heard an edge of exasperation in his words._

_"I came over to see you Alex. I came over tonight to be with you."_

_Alex had glanced at Steele and frowned slightly._

_"You weren't invited Jim. You should have called first."_

_She hadn't meant to sound so cold, but she would not be coerced into being his playmate for the night._

_"You can stay if you wish, but I am going to sleep," she threw over her shoulder as she headed for her bedroom._

_Jim felt a flare of irritation and followed her quickly, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him._

_"Why are you being such a bitch? I thought we could have a good time tonight."_

_Alex glanced down at the hand engulfing her forearm and back into his eyes. Her own were hard and cold as she tugged away from his grip._

_"Don't ever touch me like that again. You were not invited here tonight and if you cannot conduct yourself properly, then you can leave."_

_A contrite look passed over his face and he sighed, nodding slightly and taking a step back. Jim softened his gaze and smiled slightly._

_"I've just missed you and I thought we could go get breakfast in the morning."_

_Alex's own features relaxed and she offered Jim the best smile she could conjure up._

_"That's sweet, Jim, but I have a breakfast meeting in the morning with Olivia Benson."_

_Jim's face clouded over briefly and his jaw tightened._

_"Can't you meet with her another time and go to breakfast with me?" he asked after batting down a surge of jealousy._

_Alex frowned slightly at the tone of his voice, but shook her head slightly._

_"Unfortunately, no. I have to be in court by 9:30 and she is testifying tomorrow, so it will be our only chance to nail down her testimony before her appearance."_

_Jim sighed and offered a tight smile._

_"Lunch?"_

_"Maybe," she answered his smile with a slight one of her own before turning away and heading to her bedroom again. The smile slipped from her face and she suddenly felt a sense of unease, but ignored it and continued to get ready for bed._

Alex glanced to the clock again and finally gave up on getting any sleep and swept aside the covers to sit up on the edge of the bed. She had time to get a run in before showering and heading to work.

* * *

Sunlight splashed across her bed from the open window curtains and fell across the face of the passed out detective. As the sun warmed her skin, Olivia was slowly roused from her slumber and turned away from the bright light with a soft groan. An attempt to go back to sleep was thwarted a few moments later when the sound of her ringing cell shattered the silence around her. Reaching out from beneath the sheet tucked around her nude body, she pulled the cell phone under the cover and muttered a greeting.

"Where are you, Olivia? It's almost 8:45."

Alex's icy voice was like a wave of cold water hitting her and Olivia sat up with a start and blinked at the bedside clock radio.

"Shit. I'm sorry, I forgot all about our breakfast meeting."

'Shit.' Olivia jerked the sheet off her body and scrambled off the bed. Opening drawers, she quickly dug out underwear and jeans and headed for the shower.

"I can be there in 25 minutes. I'm really sorry."

"Forget it, Olivia. I have to be in court by 9:30. That doesn't leave us enough time to go over your testimony. I'll just see you in court."

To say she sounded annoyed with the detective was a gross understatement. Olivia winced at Alex's tone of voice and knew she had royally fucked up.

"Alex, look, I'm really sorry. I overslept...that's no excuse I know, but..."

Alex cut her off, getting more frustrated with every word Olivia uttered.

"There isn't time. I have to get ready for court. Just review your notes and be ready to testify later."

Before she could say anything else, the line was disconnected and Olivia looked at her phone because putting it down on her dresser and banged her fist off the laminate top.

"Dammit," she sighed. All she needed was to have the blonde ADA angry with her. Things had been tense between them since the attorney had returned to the 16th precinct and this was not going to help.

Gathering her clothes from the top of the dresser, Liv dropped a sock and as she bent to pick it up, she spotted something she knew didn't belong to her. Reaching beneath the dresser, she picked up the flimsy blue lace panties and paused, trying to remember how they had managed to land there. A sly smile crept upon her lips as she remembered the blonde from the night before.

_They left the bar and Olivia quickly hailed a cab. After sliding into the backseat, Liv gave her address to the driver and turned to her companion. Without preamble, the blond cupped her face and kissed her deeply, leaving no doubt as to why they had left the bar together._

_Soon hands began to roam and Liv gasped into the blond's mouth as she felt a slender hand slide between her thighs and press the seam of her jeans into her crotch. The blond, Megan, rubbed her firmly, and had her soaking by the time they arrived at her apartment building._

_Tossing money at the driver, Liv lead the frisky blond to her apartment and clothes began hitting the floor as soon as she managed to get them inside and the door locked behind them. Few words were exchanged as they hungrily kissed and divested each other of their clothing. Grunts, groans and the occasional 'fuck, yes, right there' were the only sounds coming from the two women as they managed to find the bedroom and landed on the queen-sized mattress._

_The lithe blond proved to be the aggressor as Olivia soon found herself beneath the slender body, fingers pressed deep into her soaked core, pumping in and out furiously, as a skillful mouth licked and nipped at her flesh. Olivia grabbed onto the bedding, bucking her hips in rhythm with the fingers within her and stars burst behind her eyes in an array of colors as a skillful tongue lapped at her clit._

Olivia let the panties slip from her hand and she hung her head as she realized her next recollection was of her cell phone ringing and waking her up. She realized the long hours of the past few days had caught up with her and, in the middle of the best sex she had had in a while, she had passed out from exhaustion.

"Fuck!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! Thanks for the nice comments on the previous chapters and I am sorry about the long wait between chapters. It took me a while to catch the rhythm of this story, especially since I thought it would only be a one-shot, but I think I've found my groove with it now, at least I hope so, and the wait between chapters won't be as long. Also, thanks for being patient with me while I learn to post to . **

**Disclaimer: I am not making money off of this story. SVU and all the characters in this story, save the ones I create, belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I am just having a bit of fun with them.  
**

* * *

Olivia hurried into the bullpen chewing on the last piece of a bagel and carrying a garment bag that contained a change of clothes for court. Stopping at her desk, she folded the garment bag over the back of her chair, shed her coat, and went to fetch herself a cup of coffee. Returning with the coffee mug, she had a sip from it before setting on her desk and hanging her coat and garment bag on the coat rack and then went through her normal morning routine of powering up her computer and checking for messages left in her in-box. Finally settling into her chair, she felt eyes on her and looked up into her partner's blue ones.

"What?" she looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.

Elliot Stabler smirked, straightened his left arm in an exaggerated motion and twisted his wrist to peer at his watch before looking at Olivia.

She rolled her eyes as she sipped from the coffee and replaced the mug on her desk.

"I told you yesterday I had a breakfast meeting with Alex this morning."

Elliot grinned and leaned forward in his chair as if he were about to share a secret with her.

"Then why did Cabot call here looking for you this morning?"

_Busted_.

Olivia sighed and had the good grace to look at him sheepishly.

"I forgot to set the alarm and overslept."

"Olivia's in the doghouse," he said in a singsong voice as he straightened some papers and tucked them into a manila folder.

She made a face at him, but before she could retort, Fin strolled over to Elliot's desk and lightly smacked his shoulder with the back of his hand.

"Stop teasin' Liv 'bout her hickey, we've got a call."

Olivia's eyes widen and a hand flew to her neck, just under her jawline, to cover the spot. She thought she had used enough cover-up to hide the mark.

Elliot and Fin exchanged looks, then burst out laughing as Elliot stood and shouldered into his suit jacket and grabbed his coat. Their brunette colleague narrowed her eyes at them.

"You're both asses."

"And yet you love us," Elliot grinned as he lead Fin out of the bullpen.

"Bite me."

"Someone already did that," Fin remarked, then chuckled at Olivia's glare. He strolled out of the door still chuckling as Olivia fairly dove into her desk drawer to hunt for the small mirror she kept in it. She glanced up to see John Munch standing near the coffee station and looking at her over the top of his glasses and smile curving his lips. Focusing her best glare at him, she raised a finger.

"Not one word."

He raised his hands in surrender and turned back to get himself a cup of tea, the small smirk still on his lips. He may not have been able to say it, but he could think it all day long and that in and of itself was enough for now.

Before Olivia could get started with the small mountain of seemingly endless paperwork on her desk, the slight scuffing of shoes against the tiled floor caught her attention and she looked toward the entrance of the bullpen to see a young woman standing hesitantly in the doorway.

Olivia's trained eye took in the young woman's appearance with a quick once over. She looked to be in her late teens or early twenties and was bundled up against the cold in a light blue ski jacket with a light blue argyle patterned beanie atop her light brown hair and a matching scarf tied around her neck. She currently had her hands stuffed in her pockets, but Olivia guessed that her gloves probably matched the rest of her winter outfit. Dark blue denim jeans and snow boots completed the young woman's look.

Olivia approached her slowly, a soft understanding smile on her face.

"Hi, can I help you?"

The young woman bit her bottom lip slightly and her eyes darted around the squad room as she appeared to rethink her decision to come into the precinct. Olivia stopped just a couple of feet from her and tried to appear as non-threatening as she could. She spoke to the girl in a soft voice.

"Do you need help?"

Finally the girl's hazel eyes met hers and a tentative voice answered Olivia's query.

"I was told to come in here by the officer downstairs. I think someone is hurting my grandmother."

The girl removed her hands from her pockets and began tugging off her gloves, which were the same light blue as the beanie and scarf Olivia idly noticed.

"Why don't you come with me and we can talk about it."

Olivia led the girl toward one of the interrogation rooms and picked up a legal pad and pen as they passed by her desk. She ushered the girl inside and motioned to one of the chairs at the rectangular table.

"Would you like some coffee or a soda?" she asked politely as she watched the girl unzip her jacket and shrug the small backpack off her shoulders before sitting in the indicated chair.

The girl shook her head and folded her arms on top of the table. Olivia took the chair on the other side of the table and readied the legal pad for the interview. She watched the girl's eyes take in the room and settle back on hers expectantly.

"I'm Detective Olivia Benson, what's your name?" She kept her tone warm, yet professional, in order to relax the young woman and gain her trust.

"My name is Jocelyn Harrison." Hazel eyes watched Olivia take down the information and she relaxed slightly, moving her arms and folding her hands together. Olivia noted how tightly they were clenched indicating Jocelyn's nervousness.

Olivia sat down her pen and folded her own hands on top of the yellow pad and smiled softly at Jocelyn. She wanted the young woman to relax or she might never find out why she came into the police station today.

"Why don't you tell me why you came in today. You said you thought someone was hurting your grandmother? What makes you think she is being hurt?"

Jocelyn slipped off her jacket and scarf, folding the scarf and laying it on the table before she took a deep breathe and met Olivia's gaze again. Her words were hesitant at first, as if searching for the correct ones to tell her story.

"My grandmother is in a nursing home here in Manhattan. She has Alzheimer's and is in an Alzheimer's ward. I visit at least once a week and my grandmother has told me someone is stealing from her. At first I thought she was just confused, so I didn't really pay attention to what she was saying, but then..."

Jocelyn chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to keep her emotions under control. Olivia reached out and patted her hand, encouraging her to continue her story. Finally, Jocelyn continued her tale.

"I was helping my Grandmother change into a clean set of pajamas and get ready for bed. I noticed some bruising around her thighs, but because of her disease, she has to wear an adult diaper and I thought maybe she had been resisting the nurses aides that change her, but then...then once when I was visiting, she had been napping when I arrived, she woke up crying and curled up on her side trembling. When I went over to her, she startled away from me and told me not to touch her."

Jocelyn swallowed hard, her eyes moist from the tears she was holding back.

"Jocelyn," Olivia softened her voice. "Did you try to ask her who might be hurting her?"

The girl nodded and sighed a bit.

"She wouldn't talk about it. She just walked off shaking her head and started pacing, she was very agitated."

Olivia jotted some notes, including more information about how to contact Jocelyn and which nursing facility her grandmother was in. Then she asked for her grandmother's name and her head shot up at the answer.

"Madeline Harrison? The writer?"

Jocelyn smiled softly and nodded.

"Yes. You know her work?"

Olivia nodded and lay her pen down again. Harrison, who was originally from the South, wrote several short stories about growing up in the South and then about her move to New York City as a young woman seeking adventure and a career as a writer. A book, based on her move to the Big Apple and discovering the similarities between the large city and her small hometown, was a favorite of Olivia's.

"I read most of her books when I was in high school." Olivia smiled at Jocelyn's surprised reaction. "My mother was an English professor and one of your grandmother's books was required reading in one of her classes, so it was always around the house. I eventually picked it up and read it, then read more of her work."

The detective and Jocelyn spoke for a few more minutes as Olivia wrapped up the interview. Finally, she stood up and lead the girl out to her desk and retrieved a business card and jotted her cell phone number on the back of it.

"If you remember anything else or if anything happens, don't hesitate to call me, okay?"

Jocelyn smiled and tucked the business card into a pocket of her backpack. She slipped her jacket back on, shouldered her pack and thanked Olivia before leaving the squadroom. Olivia watched her go before letting out a soft sigh and sitting back down at her desk to look over her notes. As she was filling out a preliminary report, Fin and Elliot returned from their call. Elliot stopped behind her for a moment and glanced over her shoulder.

"New case?" he asked as he went around to his own desk and tossed his coat down on top of it before going to make himself a hot cup of coffee.

"Mmhmm," she answered him offhandedly as she continued typing up the report. "It's a possible sexual assault at Park Avenue Manor."

Elliot was stirring some creamer and sugar into his coffee as he came back to his desk and sat down.

"That nursing home on the upper east side?" he asked as he stuck the stirring stick in his mouth and chewed on it as he let his coffee cool down.

"That's the one. The granddaughter of the possible victim came in to report it. It's going to be a hard case to prove though," she pressed the print button and sat back in her chair and looked up at Elliot. "The potential victim has Alzheimer's."

"Great, so it will be nearly impossible to get a statement from the vic." Elliot sighed and began sorting the files on his desk.

"Oh, and it gets better. The vic is a well known writer, so if word gets out on this..." Olivia sighed herself as she glanced at the time on her computer. "I think I will change, then head to lunch and maybe pick up something for Alex to see if I can smooth things over with her."

Elliot grinned at her knowingly.

"A little groveling never hurt."

"I don't grovel."

"Kiss and make-up?"

"No."

"Kiss ass?"

"Shut up," Olivia snapped and glared at him as she got up, retrieved her garment bag and then stomped off toward the locker room to change. While she knew he was teasing her, just the thought of having to suck up to Alex Cabot irritated her. Making up for not showing up for their breakfast meeting was one thing, but she wasn't about to beg for the ADA's attention, especially not when she had been ignored by the other woman for three years.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to poke a sleeping bear with a stick?" Fin asked as he sidled up to Elliot's desk after overhearing the exchange.

Elliot, who had watched his partner stalk off, glanced at the other man.

"Who knew she was so touchy?"

Fin gave him a look and shook his head.

"You know she's still got it bad for Cabot and she's still hurtin' over that girl," Fin admonished him before returning to his own desk.

He should have known better than tease Olivia about Alex. He knew his partner had tried to get over the blonde and Alex reappearing out of the blue had made those old feelings of hurt and abandonment resurface. Elliot sighed as he tossed the stirring stick into the trash.

"Yeah."

* * *

Alex Cabot left the courtroom as she stuffed a file back into her briefcase and walked down the hallway with her low-heeled pumps echoing on the gleaming tiled floor with each step. Shouldering the briefcase, she glanced at her watch and headed for the bank of elevators. She needed to finish up a brief before her next court appearance, make a phone call, and try to squeeze in lunch all within the next hour.

"Miss Cabot! Miss Cabot?"

She heard someone calling out to her just as the elevator doors opened. Looking in the direction of the voice, she sighed as she spotted the young defense attorney from the previous arraignment heading her way. He followed her into the crowded elevator just as the doors closed. She sighed and shot him an annoyed look that made the words freeze on his lips.

"What can I help you with Mr. Clark?" She made a show of glancing at her watch and giving the man a look of that spoke of her impatience and irritation.

He swallowed hard and found his voice.

"I wanted to talk to you about a plea agreement for my client. He will plead guilty to assault and battery, 5 to 10."

Alex nearly rolled her eyes as she stepped aside to let someone behind her get off the elevator when it stopped on the next floor.

"I'm not pleading him out. We have enough evidence to convict him of aggravated sexual assault and attempted murder. This is his second offense and he is going back to prison so he can't hurt anyone else."

"Attempted murder? There's no way you are going to make that charge stick."

"No? He held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her if she didn't cooperate as he raped her repeatedly for three hours."

Her words were cold and biting as she addressed the attorney as she would a first year law student in front of the others in the elevator. She felt a bit contrite as she saw him flush with embarrassment, but the perp in this case was someone who needed to be locked away for a very long time in her opinion. The elevator stopped again and she saw it was her floor. Walking out of the elevator, she stopped the other attorney from following her with a hard look.

"Besides, with the aggravated sexual assault, I won't need anything else. This is his second offense. Your client is going to be a very old man when he gets out of prison. I'll see you in court Mr. Clark."

She turned on her heels and walked toward her office, picking up her messages from her receptionist as she did. Focused on the pink message slips as she rifled through them, Alex didn't see her visitor waiting outside of her door until she sensed someone watching her and looked up.

"Olivia," her gaze took in the detective dressed in a tailored pantsuit and holding a deli bag in her hand. She smiled softly at the brunette as she opened her office door and stepped aside in silent invitation for the other woman to enter before her. "What brings you by so early? You're not scheduled for court for another hour and a half."

"I thought I would come by with lunch, I know you haven't ate yet, so I thought I would come by and feed you. Just call it an apology for leaving you hanging this morning."

Olivia moved to the couch and sat the deli bag on the coffee table. She began unpacking it, pulling out two small containers, two bottles of water, and a wrapped sandwich. She spread them out on the wood surface and opened one of the water bottles and took a swig from it. She had calmed down significantly since her exchange with Elliot and was trying to be friendly with the blonde. They had to work together after all.

Alex said nothing about the missed breakfast meeting as she walked to her desk and dumped her briefcase in her chair before joining Olivia at the coffee table and sitting in a chair on the other side of the coffee table.

"What did you bring?"

Olivia smiled softly and pushed a container and water toward her.

"Crab salad for you and a BLT for me," she said as she unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite as Alex found a fork in the sack and dug into her salad.

"Look, about this morning, I'm sorry for not showing up. I forgot to set the alarm when I went to bed last night."

Alex ate another forkful of salad and wiped her mouth. Taking a drink of water, as she thought about how to respond. Finally, she glanced at Olivia with a slight smile.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you about it. I was irritated when you didn't call, but ...," she paused as her gaze found the dark mark along Olivia's jawline and any apology for her attitude went out the window. Her brow furrowed and she focused on her salad again as she stabbed some of the crab in it and ate it off the fork. She felt a surge of jealousy and she knew she had no right to be, yet she was and it frustrated her. Her words came out cooler than she meant them to. "I would appreciate it if you could remember to call me the next time you can't be at a meeting."

Olivia put down her sandwich as she wiped her hands and nodded before taking another drink from her water. She sensed the attorney's abrupt change in demeanor and chose not to bring it up. She didn't feel like fighting with the other woman. Instead, she opened the second container and pushed it toward Alex.

"I even brought us some dessert."

Alex glanced at the open container and another soft smile curved her lips.

"Brownies, from Marco's?"

"Of course Marco's, where else?"

They both chuckled and reached for a brownie at the same time, their hands brushing against each others by accident. They both felt the jolt of passion that sang between them at the touch of each others flesh, leaving them both flushed and wanting. It seemed not everything had changed between them during their time apart. Abruptly, the door to the office opened and a dark head peaked in.

"Alex?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! Thanks for the great reviews on my story. I am truly happy that so many of you are enjoying it. I am humbled by all the reviews, but really stoked to see some of my favorite authors of AO reading and reviewing. Shout out to ReggieMe (man I love your stories, especially Double Time and Stepping Time), Wickedsvufan, and Greygirl03. **

**I actually have another chapter ready after just a week! My muse has finally found its voice with this story and ran amok today. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter..it is a doozy! I had no idea what would happen next myself! Please enjoy and drop me a comment and let me know what you think.  
**

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing to do with Law and Order: SVU. I am just having fun with the characters, they were bored.

* * *

Steele entered the room and saw the women staring at their hands, which were still touching. He pushed the door closed, allowing it to slam shut behind him as he took a step toward them. They both startled at the slam and Olivia pulled her hand back as if burnt. Steele leveled his gaze on his girlfriend.

"I thought we were having lunch today, Alex?"

Alex picked up a napkin and wiped her hands with it, then took a deep breath to calm her rapidly beating heart. Glancing to Olivia, who had found new interest in the sandwich in front of her, she regarded Jim for a long moment before answering.

"I don't recall making lunch plans for today and as you can see, I'm already having lunch." She tried to keep her tone amicable, but there was an edge of coolness in it. "You should have called before barging into my office."

Jim felt his own face flush in embarrassment and anger at having been called on the carpet in front of Olivia. He looked between the two women and forced a smile to his lips. "I'm sure Detective Benson would understand you wanting to have lunch with your boyfriend," the slight emphasis on the last word was missed by neither woman. His words prompted Olivia into action and she began wrapping her sandwich and reached for the water bottle.

"Oh...yeah. I should go. I didn't mean to disrupt your plans." Her face grew red once again as she sought a graceful exit, but one was not to be found. She fumbled the bag she had placed her sandwich in as Alex lay a gentle hand on hers. Liv's head lifted and her brown eyes met the blue eyes across from her.

"Stay. Please?" Alex's voice was soft as she gently implored the brunette not to leave. Olivia looked to Jim, then to the door and, finally, back to Alex. She relented when the hand upon hers tightened ever so slightly. Resettling onto her seat, she uncapped the water bottle and took a quick drink from it. She silently watched as Alex's bright blue eyes narrowed and turned to ice chips as they turned to land on Steele as the blonde rose from her chair.

"Can I see you outside for a moment, Jim?" she gestured toward the closed door as she walked toward it, her spine straight and her glare daunting.

He scowled at Olivia briefly and followed Alex out into the hallway. Alex closed the door and moved Steele away from any lurking co-workers. She folded her arms across her slender body and pinned him with her blue gaze. She took a quick breath and in a lowered, but authoritative voice, lit into Steele.

"The next time you come to my office, knock. I am not at your beck and call and you need to stop assuming I will drop whatever I am doing or change my plans just because you want attention. If you cannot respect me, in my office, in front of my colleagues, then you need to not bother coming here."

Steele's gaze hardened and the flush on his face deepened as he felt his anger spike.

"I am not one of your lackeys Alexandra, I am your boyfriend. You barely acknowledge my place in your life anymore and every time I see you or pick up a telephone, that...woman is with you or calling you." In the heat of their argument, Steele didn't notice the slip, but the blonde did and she narrowed her eyes at him again.

"How would you know when Olivia is calling me on the phone?"

The abrupt question stopped him and he stared at her for a moment trying to figure out what she was talking about. Then he remembered answering her phone the previous evening and admitted the truth to her.

"You were busy in the kitchen last night and your phone rang. I thought it might be important so I answered it," he explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do, not even considering the idea that perhaps he had no right to answer Alex's phone.

"Why didn't you hand me the phone when she called or at least give me the message?"

"She was drunk, so I knew it wasn't anything important."

Alex sucked in her lower lip and her hands tightened their grip on her arms as she heard his confession. She grit her teeth in a monumental effort to control her temper and took a deep breath. When she spoke, her voice was remarkably calm, too calm.

"You have no right to decide whether or not a personal telephone call to me is important. You have no right to answer my phone in the first place. Do not ever take a call for me again."

"Alex," his own voice was low and the sound was almost threatening.

"You should leave."

"Not until we talk this out." Steele folded his own arms across his chest, copying her stance, and looked as if it would take a herculean effort to get him to move.

Olivia, who had grown impatient while waiting, quietly opened the door and heard Alex's order and saw Jim's defiance of it. Stepping quickly and quietly over to them, she gave Steele her best glare, one usually reserved for the lowest of the low, and directed her question to Alex.

"Is there a problem here?"

Jim, who was now fuming, practically growled at the brunette detective, the volume of his voice no longer controlled as he snapped at her.

"It's none of your fucking concern. This is between me and my girlfriend."

Olivia, her own temper quickly rising, blanched at the term and quickly glanced to Alex, before addressing the man before her.

"I heard her ask you to leave, so I suggest you go or I will be more than glad to escort you out."

Alex, who was briefly stunned into speechlessness, started to say something but was cut off by Steele.

"You touch me and I will have your badge, Detective," he threatened as he leaned just a bit closer to Olivia. He laughed bitterly and continued."You're pathetic. I've heard the rumors about you, Detective. I've heard the rumors about the both of you, together, and I find them laughable. What would Alexandra see in someone like you? If she really wanted to be with you, why is she with me? Why didn't she go to you when she came out of witness protection instead of becoming engaged to Robert and dating me? Face it, Detective, if you two had been together, which I doubt, you were a minor dalliance, an itch she needed to scratch and nothing more..."

"Stop it! Stop it, Jim, please!" Alex was shocked by his words and when she glanced at Olivia, her heart broke.

The brunette had paled and looked as if she wanted to flee the scene, but had been stunned into silence and was frozen in place. Gone was the cocky, confident Detective that the world was usually presented with. Instead, Alex saw the hurt and anguish caused by her absence in the dark haired woman's life.

Her resolve steeled and she once again glared at the man in front of her.

"I am not your girlfriend. You are nothing more than a warm body to occupy my time with to keep loneliness at bay. I want you to leave this office. I want my key back and I never want to hear from you again."

"Now wait a fucking minute," he spat, taking a step towards her.

That brought Olivia out of her stupor and she stepped between them and pushed him back slightly. He reacted before thinking and snapped Olivia's head to the side with a harsh backhanded blow. She stumbled to the side before catching herself and balled her fist and hit him in the temple. Immediately, he went to his knees and she clipped him in the chin with a knee to the face. She was about to aim another blow when she felt a tug on her arm and swung her body around ready to defend herself.

Alex startled at the instinctive reaction and stepped back. A flash of fear crossed her features before morphing into a look of shocked surprise. In that oh so brief moment, all of Olivia's fears were realized and she looked physically ill. Tears sprang to her eyes and blood oozed from her cut lip, ignored for now. Her gaze lingered on Alex for several long moments before she hurriedly brushed past her, heading for the ladies room.

"Olivia! Olivia, wait!" Alex started after her but was brought up short when two security guards came running from the direction of the elevators. The receptionist, who had quietly observed the tense conversation, had called for them as the argument had escalated.

The guards stopped in front of Alex preventing her from following the other woman, though their attention was quickly drawn to the man who was sitting on his butt, clutching his head and issuing a low moan of pain. The shorter of the two made his way to Steele to check on his condition as the other one began questioning Alex.

"What happened here, ma'am?"

Alex glanced at the older security officer, then glanced past him toward where Olivia had fled. Sighing in frustration, she indicated Steele.

"He was asked to leave..." Her explanation was cut short but Steele's demanding voice.

"I was attacked by that bitch."

The officer with Steele glanced to his colleague, then to Alex in disbelief.

"This woman attacked you?"

Steele glared at the man as he stood up on unsteady legs.

"No, you idiot. That one." He pointed, but looked around and realized Olivia was gone and gritted his teeth as he felt a wave of dizziness overcome him and he swayed slightly. A hand cupping his elbow steadied him and guided him to a nearby chair. The officer next to Alex called for medical assistance as his partner addressed Steele.

"Who attacked you, sir?"

"Detective Olivia Benson," he ground out. "I want her arrested!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks everyone for the kind reviews! I am so glad you are enjoying this story. I hope you like this next chapter as well. Keep the reviews coming to let me know how I am doing. I may post some of my other AO stories if you all want to read them, they are some one-shots I've written and posted on Live Journal. Onto our story:**

* * *

Olivia moved swiftly down the hall and through the lobby towards the ladies room with her head down and a hand to her split lip to keep the blood from falling onto her blouse. Her hair fell like a curtain around the sides of her face, shielding her from onlookers as she moved through the lobby and finally reached the sanctuary of the restroom. Pushing the door open, she made her way to a sink after grabbing a few paper towels and wet them to press to her lip.

Her mind was a swirl of emotion and adrenaline pumped quickly through her body making her heart race. The look of fear that had crossed Alex's face, if only for a split second, played over and over in her mind's eye, taunting her. Tears stung her eyes and she bounced her fist off the counter a couple of times as she struggled to keep from breaking down in the public restroom.

She could have easily hurt Alex by striking out when she had been grabbed and had swung around on the blonde attorney. All the fears she ever had about being as violent as her father came to fruition in that one moment and the look of fear that flashed across Alex's face mercilessly stabbed at her conscious. Olivia felt the control over her emotions waning and set about cleaning her bloodied lip so she could escape the courthouse and put some distance between herself and the other woman.

* * *

"You can't be serious?" Alex shouted, livid as she heard Steele's demand for Olivia to be arrested. "She didn't attack him, he punched her first!"

Both of the security officers looked at Steele who frowned at Alex.

"I can't believe you are defending that bitch over your own boyfriend."

"I told you, you're not my boyfriend and she's not a bitch."

"Unbelievable," he huffed, throwing up his hands.

The security guards shared a glance and then the older one near Alex stepped in front of her to stop the arguing back and forth between Steele and the attorney. He motioned her down the hall, away from his colleague and Steele. As he did so, the paramedics who had been called to the scene, arrived and went to check on their patient.

"Ma'am, I need you to tell me what happened," the guard spoke quietly as he removed a pen and pad from one of his shirt pockets.

Alex sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache starting to build. Glancing at her watch, she saw there was still 45 minutes before the grand jury would convene in her case and nodded slightly. Alex began to quickly give her side of the story to the security guard.

"Mr. Steele showed up at my office, unexpectedly, and wanted to take me to lunch. I was in my office," she gestured toward it, "having lunch with my colleague, Detective Benson. We have a grand jury hearing at 1:30."

She paused and looked over her shoulder for Olivia and frowned slightly when she was no where to be seen.

"Go on," the guard urged as he jotted down her version of what happened.

Alex turned back to him and continued.

"He barged into my office and suggested Detective Benson leave so he and I could have lunch. I escorted him out of my office and told him if he couldn't respect me in front of my colleagues, then he should leave. He refused and Detective Benson, who had overheard me, came to suggest he leave or she would escort him out," she sighed softly and nodded toward Steele slightly. "Jim told her if she touched him, he would have her badge. We started arguing again and he shouted something at me, took a step toward me and Olivia...Detective Benson stepped between us and pushed him back slightly. That's when he hit her. She defended herself and, well," she shrugged slightly as she folded her arms back across her chest again, "here we are."

She watched him finish his notes and rubbed a hand under his jaw, a five o'clock shadow emerging on the dark headed man's cheeks.

"You're not really going to arrest her are you?" Alex bit her bottom lip slightly and chewed on it thoughtfully.

The guard smiled at her slightly as he tucked his pen and notepad back into his uniform shirt pocket.

"We don't arrest people ma'am, but I don't think anything will come of it." He nodded toward Steele. "I think once he cools down some more, he will realize he was as much at fault as the detective was. I do need to speak to Detective Benson however. Do you know where she went?"

The blonde lawyer nodded slightly.

"She went to see about her lip, it was bleeding. I'll go see if I can find her."

Alex spared Steele a glance before turning to find Olivia. The paramedics had examined the man and left, confident that the blow to the head had only stunned him and not caused a concussion. She glanced at her watch again and sighed, there was only a half hour left before the grand jury hearing and, unless she found the detective right away, there wasn't enough time for Olivia to give her statement before she would have to testify. She nibbled at her bottom lip as she thought about what she could do. Asking for a continuance at this late date would be frowned upon, so, as far as she was concerned, that was out of the question. She would just have to stall until Olivia could arrive to give her testimony. Lengthening her stride, Alex headed for the most logical spot to find the detective, the ladies restroom.

* * *

Olivia surveyed her lip in the mirror and touched it gingerly with a wet paper towel as she dabbed the blood from around the cut. Wincing slightly, she was relieved that none of the blood had dripped onto her white silk blouse and she took note of the rapidly swelling and bruising lip. Elliot and the others would have a field day when she got back to the precinct and she wasn't looking forward to their razzing. As she finished up and tossed the paper towel into the trash bin, the door of the restroom creaked open and a blonde head peered around it.

"Good, there you are," Alex smiled softly, then grimaced in sympathy as she saw Liv's swollen lip. Allowing the door to close behind her, the attorney automatically reached out toward the other woman's chin to have a closer look at the damage marring the other woman's beautiful face. Olivia deftly avoided the touch by stepping back and turning her head away slightly. As the blonde furrowed her brow at the avoidance, Olivia lied to keep from hurting Alex's feelings any further.

"Sorry, it's just really tender," she ran fingers through her hair as she glanced back into the mirror. "How long do we have before the grand jury convenes?"

"We have about 25 minutes."

Alex looked at Olivia for a moment, wanting to take the other woman into her arms and hold her, to try explain why she had stayed away from the brunette when she returned from witness protection even though they were on a tight schedule.

"Look, Liv. Jim…what he said…you know it's not true. I…"

Olivia met her companion's azure eyes and shook her head, interrupting the blonde.

"Don't…I can't talk about this right now," she started to brush past the attorney, but was stopped by a light touch on her arm.

"Olivia, we need to talk about this. Maybe now isn't the time, but we do need to discuss it."

The detective pulled away from Alex's touch again, trying to stamp down the feelings of anger that were threatening to surface. Her dark eyes pierced the blue ones before her.

"Do we? Why Alex? Why are you so interested in talking now? I think you made it quite clear before by not returning my phone calls or letting me know you were back. I had to read about your return in the damn social section of the Ledger. So, no, we don't need to talk because there is nothing to discuss."

"Liv…"

"No, Alex. I can't."

Olivia blew out a breath and opened the door to leave the ladies room.

"Security would like your version of what happened, Detective," Alex managed coolly, hiding her hurt and shame behind her well practiced professional façade. Olivia's words stung and she wanted to hide from the brunette's hurt and anger, but she squared her shoulders and mentally prepared herself for battle. She had hidden herself and her desires for far too long and it was now time to face the past and move on toward the future.

* * *

Olivia headed back to the hallway near Alex's office and spotted the two security guards with Jim Steele. Clearing her mind of the turbulence left in Alex's wake, she gave the older guard a wry smile.

"I'm Detective Olivia Benson. I understand I need to give you my statement."

She barely gave Steele a glance and focused her attention on the older guard. Steele, who had regained his equilibrium and had calmed down as he gave his own statement, seethed at the brunette's presence and cool demeanor.

"I'm going to have your badge, Benson. You're done!"

Olivia ignored Steele's ranting and quietly detailed her version of events to the guard. The guard then put his notepad away and flicked his head toward the male attorney. In his mind it was quite clear, the detective had instinctively stepped forward to protect the blonde attorney and had been hit by Steele with little provocation.

"Will you be pressing charges?"

Only then did Olivia smirk and focus her gaze on the other man, then shook her head.

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"What! I can't believe you are just going to let her go! She came at me!" Steele looked at the older guard as he bellowed his displeasure.

"Mr. Steele, it is clear the detective did not attack you, as you claimed, and was acting to protect Miss Cabot when you struck her."

"This is bullshit! I want to speak to your supervisor, now!" Steele bellowed, his body taut with fury.

"That will be enough!"

An authoritative voice cut through the din, instantly drawing the attention of the small group. Judge Elizabeth Donnelly, wearing her black judge's robe, came striding down the hallway, her face a stern mask.

"I can hear you down the hall and in my chambers," she glared at the group. "If you cannot conduct yourselves as professionals, I suggest you take your squabble outside."

Steele started to speak, but the judge's cold gaze made him quickly shut his mouth.

"I think I was quite clear, Mr. Steele."

He nodded meekly and shifted his gaze to the floor, embarrassed at being called on the carpet in front of the others, but not daring voice his objections in front of Liz Donnelly.

The judge's cool gaze took in the rest of the small crowd gathered in the hall and spotted Alex, who had just made her way back to the group, and Olivia.

"You two scheduled to be in my courtroom now, are you not?"

"Yes, your Honor," Alex quickly answered and she glanced to Olivia, who wisely kept her mouth shut and buttoned her suit blazer in preparation to go to the courtroom.

"I just need to grab my attaché," the blonde informed the judge as she headed back towards her office.

Donnelly nodded curtly and glanced to her watch.

"I will see you both in five minutes," her tone leaving no room for argument. After a duet of 'Yes, your Honor', she gave the rest of the group a meaningful glance and turned on her heels and marched confidently back to her chambers.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the great reviews everyone! I am so glad you like this story. Here is the next chapter in our saga. I will post it on Live Journal, as soon as Lj stops being a pain in the arse. Toss me a review and tell me what you think about the story. **

**Disclaimer: They still do not belong to me, darn it!**

* * *

Shifting her mail, attaché and a bag of Chinese takeout in her hands, Alex managed to get her key in the lock and turn the knob. She bumped the apartment door open with her hip, then sat the mail and takeout bag on the foyer table and dropped the briefcase next to it. She pulled out her key and shut the door behind her, locking it and slipping out of her heels as she did. It had been a long, eventful day and she was exhausted.

She padded on stocking feet to her bedroom and shucked out of her suit, folding and draping both the jacket and skirt over the back of an overstuffed chair. She quickly donned a robe, opting for eatting her food while it was hot and taking a leisurely bath afterwards, before tackling some of the work she brought home with her. Picking up her food on the way to the kitchen, she sat the containers on the counter and opened each one before retrieving a plate from a cabinet by the sink. Steam from the broccoli and beef slowly rose into the air and it's tangy scent tantalized Alex's senses, making her mouth water and her stomach gurgle.

She had just finished plating her food when a knock sounded at her front door. Alex uttered a soft curse, scooped some of the food on her fork and took a quick bite before padding into the hallway and looking out the peephole. She finished chewing her bite of food and swallowed as she tightened the robe around her and unlocked the door. Settling her face into a cool mask of indifference, she opened the door to her visitor.

"You really do not know how to use a phone, do you?" She leaned against the door, her arms folded across her chest, blocking the entrance to her apartment.

Steele sighed softly and barely kept from rolling his eyes.

"I knocked at least."

"What are you doing here, Jim?"

He motioned inside, but didn't move any closer to the door.

"I just came to pick up my things and return your key."

Alex gazed at him for a few seconds and finally moved away from the door. The sooner he gathered his things and gave her back the extra key, the sooner he would be out of her life.

"I'll be in the kitchen."

As she started to leave, he reached out and stopped her with a touch to her shoulder.

"I wish we could talk about this and maybe work things out."

She allowed her features to soften just a bit and she gave him a gentle smile.

"Can you honestly say we had anything worth salvaging, Jim? I'm not in love with you and I know you're not in love with me. It was what it was, now it's time to end it."

Jim's smile matched her own and his gaze met hers. In truth, he was not in love with her, but he enjoyed her company. He stepped closer and ran a hand down the length of her arm.

"We're a good team, Alex. We could have a good life together," he spoke softly, his tone seductive.

The blonde shook her head, her blue eyes looking at him for several moments before she replied. He could be a charming man, but he could also be an arrogant prick, as he proved earlier that day. Arrogance was a trait she shared, as did most attorneys, however, she never had seen him become violent nor so easily provoked. She could overlook a lot of things, but she could not overlook violence such as he had displayed that afternoon.

"I'm not a trophy wife, Jim. I want more than that. I deserve more than that. Maybe I'm being unrealistic, but I want to get married because I'm in love, not to look good for the campaign trail or to please my family."

Steele leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Alex's forehead.

"I hope you find what you are looking for, Alex. You deserve the best."

She met his gaze again, her piercing blue eyes examining his eyes and his features for any signs of deception.

"I hope you mean that," she spoke softly before turning away and going back to her dinner in the kitchen.

Steele began gathering the few things he had kept in Alex's apartment: clothes, a couple of books, and a few toiletries. Packing them in a leather overnight bag that he kept in her closet for one of their rare weekend getaways, he did a once over in the bedroom and bathroom before heading for the door. Remembering a raincoat that was in her hall closet, he quickly rifled through the coats and jackets looking for his own. Noticing it toward the back of the closet, he stepped further inside, accidently kicking a box that was laying unnoticed on the floor. Grabbing his raincoat, he then reached down to put the box back on a shelf out of the way. Before putting the box away, he glanced quickly at its contents and the jumble of photographs catching his eye.

Steele balanced the box in one hand and reached up to pull the string hanging down from the closet's light to illuminate the interior of the closet. In the dim light, the truth about the nature of Alex Cabot's and Olivia Benson's relationship was revealed. Scooping up the photographs in his free hand, he placed the box back on the closet floor, the other mementos it held of no significance to him. Quickly shuffling the pictures, his jaw set and he began feeling like a jackass. He had been played for a fool, at least that was how he felt. Alex had kept the truth from him from the beginning. She was a dyke, a lying fucking dyke who had probably laughed behind his back to everyone they knew.

"Jim?" Alex hadn't heard any movement for several moments nor had she heard the front door open or close and she wondered if he were still in the apartment. She had placed her plate and glass in the sink and entered the living room to see if he were still there.

Startled into action, he quickly stuffed the photos in his inner jacket pocket, shut off the closet light and stepped out of it, closing the door behind him. He turned toward her, offering a forced smile and motioned to the tan coat draped over his arm.

"I was just getting my raincoat from the hall closet."

She gave him a slight nod. Though she knew she was better off without the other attorney in her life, a relationship, such as it was, was ending and she felt a wave of melancholy sweep over her. Alex hated him for what he had done to Olivia, but she still had had an intimate relationship with him and that was due some sort of respect.

"I guess I'll see you around the office," she offered softly as she watched him finishing gathering his things.

He took the spare apartment key off his key ring and lay it down on the foyer table before he looked back at her ready to blast her for her deception, but then he thought better of it. She had been correct in the assumption that he didn't love her, but he knew being attached to Alexandra Cabot had come with its own rewards and helped open doors in New York. Her family was wealthy and powerful and his 'in' with them was rapidly diminishing.

Steele knew how to use his charm to sway a jury and most everyone else he came into contact with. Those charms had been used effectively with Alex when they first met and now he drudged them up once again to keep his humilition and anger at bay. He offered her a gentle smile as he picked up the leather bag duffle and glanced over to her.

"Well, I have everything," he set his things down by the door and stepped to her, pulling her into his arms for a hug. His lips brushed against her cheek as he held her close for a brief moment.

"Take care of yourself Alex. I'll see you at work."

She returned his hug and stepped back as soon as she felt his arms release her. She silently watched him pick up his bag and raincoat and finally make his way out of her home. She was alone again, but this time she was determined that the loneliness wouldn't consume her as it had when she had been in witness protection. This time, she would take the time to rebuild her life as Alexandra Cabot, the life she wanted, not the life her family and society thought she should live.

* * *

It was around 6:30 when Elliot Stabler signed the last of his paperwork, tucked it into its file and stacked it neatly with the others in his desk drawer. As he was finishing up for the night, he noticed his partner bouncing her pen against the desk and blowing out a breath of frustration as she slammed the file closed she had been attempting to read. He didn't say anything, just observed her for a few silent moments.

Olivia was keyed up. She had managed to avoid Alex after giving her grand jury testimony and returned to the precinct hoping to get back to work without drawing attention to herself. Unfortunately, that was not to be. As soon as she stepped foot between the bullpen's double doors, Cragen had ordered her to his office and read her the riot act after hearing about her scuffle at the courthouse. The dressing down put both of them in a foul mood and the rest of the squad opted to work quietly so not to garner the Captain's, nor Olivia's, residual wrath. Now, with the others already gone, Elliot decided to risk his partner's bad mood and try to find out what was going on.

"Want to talk it over?"

Olivia looked up at him for a brief moment, opting to play dumb.

"Talk about what?"

Elliot chuckled and leaned forward in his chair, leaning against his arms on the desk.

"The national debt," he said sarcastically. "Alex, of course."

She frowned slightly and shook her head, suddenly finding the file in front of her fascinating.

"There's nothing to talk about."

He let her evade the subject for now and just watched her silently for a few more moments. Soon, aware of his scrutiny and unable to keep still, she fidgeted and began tapping the pen against her desk again. Standing up, he went over to her desk and snatched the pen from her hand and tossed it onto his desk top.

"Hey!" she tried her best glare at him, but he only gave her a smile.

"C'mon slugger. Let's go work off some of that excess energy."

She sighed and started to brush him off, but he interrupted her.

"C'mon, you can let off some steam and me and the guys can stop walking on eggshells."

"Fine."

She pushed herself out of her seat and went to get her workout clothes and change in the ladies restroom while Elliot changed in the locker room. Soon she emerged dressed in a pair of shorts, a tank top and cross training shoes. Carrying a pair of kickboxing gloves under one arm, she was slipping weightlifting gloves on her hands as she went to meet her partner in the precinct's gym. Elliot was already warming up when she walked in and she joined him quietly after setting her kickboxing gloves down on a bench. Soon, after their warm-up, they were spotting each other as they lifted weights and encouraging the other to push through the exercises.

Olivia did three sets of bicep curls, triceps pushdowns, lunges and squats with a fifty pound dumbbell on her shoulders. More than ready to work off some steam, she got a long drink of water and walked over to get her kickboxing gloves. Exchanging her gloves, she swung her arms to loosen them up and took a stance in front of the heavy bag as Elliot got behind it to brace it.

"So?"

Olivia glanced at him and began throwing jabs and hooks into the bag, lightly at first, then with more ferocity as she got into a rhythm.

"I have nothing to say."

"I heard you kicked Steele's ass."

At the name, Liv's punches into the bag got harder and faster. Elliot saw the determined set of her jaw and kept pushing.

"He must've said or did something to piss you off."

Olivia remained stoic as she started bouncing on the balls of her feet and placing well aimed roundhouse and front kicks into the bag.

"Was it about Alex? Was that why you went off on him? Did he do something to her?"

One of her kicks landed near his head and he knew she was close to breaking.

"What was it Liv? Does he know about you and Alex? Does he know you two had a history, does he know you still love her?"

That last question made her falter and when she threw the next punch into the bag, her aim was slightly off and she bent back her thumb.

"God dammit!"

She tugged off her glove and shook her hand out, examining the sore appendage. She glared at her partner, her rage renewed.

"Why can't you leave it alone Elliot? It's none of your damn business!"

He quietly walked over to the small office in the corner of the gym where medical supplies were kept and took a gel ice pack from the small refrigerator. Making his way back to her, he took her sore hand in his larger one and applied the cold pack to the swelling thumb. He looked at her gently, his voice soft and understanding.

"It's my business when my partner, my friend, is hurting."

He looked pointedly at her split lip and the hickey along her jaw line.

"It's my business when my friend gets beaten up or goes out and ends up sleeping with some stranger because she hurts so much she will do anything to take away the pain."

Olivia tried to tug her hand away from him, tears pricking her eyes and sweat glistening on her olive toned skin.

Elliot hung onto her, knowing she was at her breaking point, and relentlessly kept on.

"It's my business when my partner almost get suspended because of a fight over a woman she loves so much that it hurts just to hear her name."

"El…don't," her voice was soft as tears mingled with the sweat on her face. "Just stop."

"Liv, you can't keep living like this. Ever since Alex has been back…"

"She should have stayed away!" She shouted, her voice harsh as she used her gloved hand to angrily wipe at the tears. "We didn't need her here…I don't need her!"

"Yeah, honey, you do. You love her."

Olivia laughed harshly and finally pulled free of Elliot's grip. She tugged off her other glove and wiped her hand across her nose and face.

"He was right. She didn't come back to me. She came to New York and ignored my calls, all of our calls. She came back for her career and the power, but she didn't come back to us….to me."

She found a towel and wiped off her face and got a drink of water from the fountain. Gathering up her gloves, she looked at Elliot.

"I once thought I meant something to her. Today, for a moment, I thought I still did, but Steele was right. Alex came back to New York, but she didn't come back for me. If she had….if she had…" Olivia stopped and shook her head. "That was the past. It's time to move on."

Elliot walked toward her, his blue eyes gazing at her with concern. She was one of his best friends and he hated seeing her in pain.

"Maybe it is time to move on, but can you? I know you still love her…"

"Yeah and that makes me a damn fool."

"Liv…" her hand on his lips stopped his words.

"Go home to your family, El. Don't worry about me. I'm tough remember?" She smiled wryly and dropped her hand as she turned away and began walking toward the gym's exit. "Go home Elliot."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, thanks for continuing to read this story and for all the great feedback. This chapter doesn't have our resident bad guy Jim, but we do have a visit from everyone's favorite Texas brunette lawyer. I hope I do her justice here. I wanted to put a bit of crime into the story as well, I mean it is Law and Order after all! I hope you like this latest installment. Keep reading and telling me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't owe them and I'm still not making any money off of them.**

* * *

Elliot pulled the Crown Victoria sedan into the parking lot of the Park Avenue Manor nursing home and found a spot open near the street entrance. Turning off the car, he grabbed for his cup of coffee held by his partner and nodded toward the open file on her lap.

"What do we know about the vic?" he asked before taking a sip of the steaming brew.

"Madeline Harrison is 76, she's a writer and originally from North Carolina. She was married to David Harrison, a rather successful real estate developer from here in Manhattan," she paused to take a sip from her own coffee cup and continued reading from her notes.

"Her granddaughter, Jocelyn, who is 20 and a student at Columbia, came in three days ago and told me she thought someone might be hurting her. Jocelyn stated she has seen bruising on Mrs. Harrison's thighs and she has acted as if she were terrorized when Jocelyn approached her after she woke from a nap. She's been here at the nursing home for about nine months because of a diagnosis of Alzheimer's."

Olivia closed the file and tucked it in a spot between the two partners and looked at the building.

"If she is being victimized, this is going to be a tough case to prove without testimony from the victim."

Elliot nodded in agreement and took a final sip from his cup before rolling down his window and tossing the remaining liquid out onto the pavement. He crushed the paper cup and placed it in a bag before he opened his car door and stepped out into the cold air.

"Let's go see what we can find out."

Following behind the taller man, the brunette detective let her eyes roam the parking lot, the small surrounding landscaped lawn and the interior of the building as they entered for anything that seemed out of place or suspicious. Noting the security cameras near the entrance and within the building, she made a mental note about getting access to any tapes that might be available and help them find out who was harming Mrs. Harrison.

As they approached the receptionist, they both unclipped their badges and offered polite, professional smiles. Since she had been the one to take the initial statement from Jocelyn Harrison, Olivia was the lead detective on the case and spoke for the both of them.

"I'm Detective Benson and this is Detective Stabler," she indicated her partner to the older woman at the desk. "We would like to talk to someone about one of your residents here, Madeline Harrison. We have some questions we'd like to ask."

The receptionist took down their names and indicated the nearby lobby.

"Please have a seat over there, I'll call the Residential Coordinator for you."

Olivia nodded and offered a smile.

"Thank you."

She exchanged looks with her partner before they bother went over to the lobby and sat down to wait. Taking out a notepad and pen, Olivia made note of the security cameras she had seen entering the building and looked around the lobby for others.

"Ten bucks says we get stonewalled," Elliot muttered as he too took in their surroundings.

The lobby was well appointed with sturdy, comfortable furniture designed to appear warm and inviting as well as professional. The walls were papered with a tasteful floral design and live plants dotted the room on dark furniture. A large wood clock hung on the wall and Olivia watched the second hand sweep around once before turning back to her partner with a slight smile.

"That's a suckers bet. We will probably have to get a warrant to find out any useful information."

They waited for a few more minutes before a middle aged woman dressed smartly in a dark brown pantsuit approached with a friendly, albeit curious, smile.

"Detectives, I am Amanda Mathison the Residential Coordinator here. I was told you have some questions about one of our residents?"

The two detectives stood and Olivia offered her business card.

"I'm Detective Benson," she introduced herself and then motioned to Elliot. "This is my partner, Detective Stabler. We're here about Madeline Harrison."

Olivia observed the sandy haired woman as she studied the card for a moment and looked at each of them, her brow furrowed slightly.

"What about Mrs. Harrison?" she inquired politely.

The brunette glanced at the receptionist who appeared busy, but was trying her best to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Perhaps there is some place more private we can have this conversation?"

Mathison glanced at the receptionist as well and motioned to the detectives to follow her. She lead them to her office and motioned to the guest chairs in front of her desk.

"Can I get you any coffee or tea?" she asked before closing the door.

"Thank you, but no," Elliot answered for them as the partners sat down.

She closed the door and went around her desk and sat in the padded desk chair and regarded the two police officers.

"What is this regarding?"

Olivia, who had been glancing around the sparsely decorated office, answered her question in a smooth, professional tone that made the disturbing topic more palatable.

"We're here to investigate a possible sexual assault on Mrs. Harrison."

Mathison inhaled sharply and frowned, she brown eyes glancing back and forth between Elliot and his partner.

"You can't be serious?"

"I'm afraid so, Ms. Mathison."

"We take every precaution in protecting our residents, Detective," Mathison bristled at the suggestion that Harrison had been attacked within the confines of the nursing home. "We do a through background check on each of our employees and all visitors are checked in and out. For our more fragile residents, there is an approved visitors list that is strictly adhered to."

Elliot took notes as Olivia questioned the coordinator and looked up briefly.

"Would it be possible to get a list of employees that have access to Mrs. Harrison's room and a copy of her approved visitors."

The other woman frowned and she folded her hands on top of the desk, clenching them tightly.

"That is confidential information, Detectives. I want to help you in any way I can, but I can't have the privacy of my employees and residents violated based on an unfounded accusation."

Olivia crossed her right leg over her left and laced her fingers around her knee.

"What makes you so such the allegation is unfounded?"

"Our Alzheimer's patients, like Mrs. Harrison, are in a locked down ward. No one goes in or out without being identified and approved. The residents can freely roam the ward, but they cannot leave it without triggering alarms to keep them from getting hurt or lost within the building. We take our residents safety very seriously."

"We understand your position, Ms. Mathison, but we have to take such allegations seriously and we have to look at those that have access to the victim. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated."

Mathison gave the detectives a cool smile and sat back in her chair.

"I'm sure it would be, but I can't just hand over a list of employees and visitors to everyone who comes in here and asks for one. I will have to run your request past our legal department and if they approve, I will fax a list to your office."

Olivia sighed and started to argue the matter, but Elliot reached over and briefly lay his hand on her arm. He offered the sandy haired woman a smile of understanding.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Mathison. I hope we here from you soon."

He stood and looked pointedly at Olivia as he put away his notepad and pen. She nodded at him with frowned and got up from her chair and left the room without even a backwards glance. She knew the other woman was just doing her job and following the nursing home's protocols, but she didn't have to like it. Elliot nodded his head in thanks and left behind his irritated partner.

* * *

Glancing at her watch, Alex pushed open the door to the deli restaurant, walked in and looked around for a place to sit. She had a couple of hours before she needed to be in court again and needed a break from the paperwork on her desk. She had spent so much time eating at her desk this week, she had almost forgotten what it looked like outside of her office during daylight hours. Finding an empty, clean table for two toward the back of the restaurant, she made her way to it and sat down with a sigh. It felt good to get out of the office and have a relaxing meal in a restaurant rather than eating takeout yet again.

She thanked the waiter for the glass of water and a menu before glancing at her watch again. Just as she was starting to read her menu, her lunch date slid into the seat opposite her's at the table and smiled.

"I'm glad you unchained yourself from your desk long enough to have lunch with me today," the smoky voice teased as Abbie Carmichael settled at the table.

Alex looked over the menu at her friend and smirked just a bit.

"Well, I'm glad you called and offered to buy lunch, I needed a change of scenery."

Abbie laughed lightly and opened the menu that had been delivered to her.

"It's the least Uncle Sam could do," Abbie winked and took a sip from her water.

Her blonde companion sighed, closed her menu and wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something unpleasant.

"So, this isn't just a lunch between friends?"

"For the most part it is, but we do have a bit of business to discuss."

Alex peered over at Abbie when she didn't elaborate.

"Well?"

Abbie gave her a smile as she closed her own menu after deciding on what she was having for lunch.

"After we eat, my impatient friend. I don't want business to ruin our appetites."

"That bad huh?" Alex sipped from her own water as she regarded the striking brunette sitting across from her. She had known Abbie since she started at the District Attorney's office out of law school. She had been assigned to the same office as the brunette to learn the ins and outs of the DA's office before she was assigned to her first division and Abbie had taken the blonde under her wing. Despite being moved to different divisions, seldom seeing each other, and Abbie's leaving the DA's office for a position at the United States Attorney's office in New York, they had remained good friends.

"Let's just say that you and our detective friends at the 1-6 will not be happy."

Alex's sharp mind quickly ran through cases the squad at SVU had worked on that might pique the interest of the U.S. Attorney's office. Her eyes widen just a bit as she looked at her friend and a flash of anger left a tinge of pink staining her cheeks. Abbie noticed her reaction and knew her blonde friend had put two and two together.

"Samuelsen," they both repeated the name at the same time.

"No. No way," Alex shook her head at the other attorney.

"Alex…" Abbie trailed off for a moment, watching the other woman, then she laid out her cards, the main reason for the US Attorney's interest in the case. "Samuelsen is just a tiny tip of a huge iceberg. His...films were sent to buyers in Canada and Europe and he's agreed to name names for a sentence reduction."

"Abbie," Alex leaned forward, her voice softening so as to not be overheard, their conversation wasn't exactly traditional meal time talk. "Samuelsen was directly responsible for trafficking children for the production of child pornography. We were able to shut down at least three film companies who produced those films in studios in Manhattan and Brooklyn. The squad worked on that case for over a year. You can't just yank it out from under them now."

The brunette's gaze was intense as she watched and listened to Alex. She knew this would upset the other attorney and the detectives at SVU, but this case was so much bigger than the Manhattan DA's office and she had no choice.

"Alex, I know you are angry and I know Stabler, Benson and the others worked their asses off on this case, but this is so much bigger than you know. We're not talking about distribution via the Internet to perverts getting their jollies off at home in Toronto or Montreal, but we are talking about these films being sold to distribution companies who send them overseas as well as right back into the United States. We have the opportunity to shut those companies down permanently and Samuelsen is our key."

The blonde ADA took a deep breath and released it in a slowly, getting control of her temper. Looking at her friend, she narrowed her eyes at her slightly as the waiter approached the table to take their orders.

"Fine, but I'm not telling them, you are."

Carmichael grinned, her dark eyes twinkling, and placed an order for a Cobb salad and an iced tea. Alex had the shrimp salad and water, though, at the moment, she yearned for a scotch on the rocks. The dark haired attorney decided to change the subject before the ADA could ask about the reduction in the child trafficker's sentence.

"So, I hear you had some excitement at the courthouse the other day."

Alex frowned and traced the edge of the water glass with her index finger.

"How did you hear about that?"

"I have my sources."

Alex gave her a sly smile.

"Yeah, Theresa in the law library."

Abbie chuckled softly, her eyes dancing with merriment and a hint of mischief.

"Theresa was so last month," she scoffed. "Actually, I was in the courthouse talking to McCoy and Liz cornered him and scolded him about needing to rein in his problem children. Then I heard Benson cleaned Steele's clock. I don't think there is anyone in the DA's office that hasn't heard about that."

Alex made a face and sat back as their salads arrived. Picking up her fork, she speared one of the chilled shrimp and ate it before speaking.

"Jim made an ass of himself and said some things he shouldn't have. He ended up hitting Olivia and she defended herself," she casually shrugged.

"By kicking his ass and I bet she looked damn sexy doing it," Abbie smirked, baiting her friend.

Alex shot her a look of irritation.

"He really hurt her, Abbie. She refused to talk to me afterwards and I think she's been avoiding me the past couple of days."

"I still don't know what you ever saw in him or Robert."

Alex took another bite of her salad and wrinkled her a nose a bit.

"I plead temporary insanity."

"You need to work things out with her, Alex."

The blonde sighed and lay down her fork. She folded her arms on the table and meet the other woman's gaze.

"I don't know Abbie, maybe I just need to work on me for awhile. Get my head on straight. I feel like I am just now regaining my equilibrium after coming out of WitSec."

Abbie snorted softly and frowned at her friend.

"How much longer do you need? It's been nearly three years. You wait any longer and Olivia's going to finally give up and find someone else."

Alex retrieved her fork and poked at her salad, more than a little annoyed at having Abbie Carmichael giving her relationship advice.

"You know, it's more than a little disturbing discussing my relationship, or lack thereof, with Olivia Benson with you."

"Oh please," Abbie rolled her eyes and spoke softly in her smoky southern drawl.

"What Liv and I had is ancient history. Hell, we only went on three dates and fucked twice. You don't need to get your panties in a wad about me and Olivia. We realized we were too much alike to be anything more than friends." Abbie reached over and lay her hand over Alex's. "She's crazy about you, Al. You're it for her and I think she's it for you."

Alex sighed softly. "I know she is, but things have changed so much and I wonder…I wonder if it isn't better to leave the past in the past."

The brunette across from her lay down her own fork and leaned in, her voice hard and eyes slightly narrowed.

"You're a damn fool if you believe that, Cabot. If you don't work this out between you, you'll end up breaking your heart and hers. I've never known you to be a chickenshit Alex, so don't start now."


	8. Chapter 8

**First of all, thank you to everyone for your reviews and reading this story. I am delighted that so many people are enjoying it and would be thrilled to here from more of you. Secondly, I am so sorry for the long delay in updating. My muse decided to take an extended vacation it seems and work has picked up so my time has been limited. I will try and get the next chapter done in a much more timely manner! **

**I am so excited that Alex, and Casey!, are going to return to SVU this fall. We will all miss Stabler, but I think the two new detectives will be interesting to watch. I hope the new guy at the helm, Warren Leight, gives us some good AO subtext as he is revamping the show. Please leave a review after you read the chapter and I hope you enjoy this next installment.**

* * *

The list of employees and visitors from Park Avenue Manor was faxed over two days after Olivia and Elliot had paid a visit to the Residential Coordinator. The squad quickly ran the names through their computer and, other than a citation for public intoxication for one of the nurse aides, there was nothing outstanding about anyone on the list. Olivia leaned back in her chair, her fingers laced together atop her head and looked over at her partner.

"That's the last one and we've got nothing. Everyone checks out, no priors other than a public intoxication."

Elliot leaned forward, running a hand over his tired face.

"That doesn't mean that someone on that list didn't assault her, but then again, we don't know for sure that Mrs. Harrison has been assaulted."

Captain Don Cragen, who had switched off the light in his office and came out to go home, overheard Elliot and looked at his detectives.

"It sounds like you've hit a dead end with the Harrison case," he glanced between Olivia and Elliot. "Put it on the back burner, you both have plenty of other open cases of confirmed crimes to concentrate on. Go home, tomorrow is another day." The captain bid them both a good night and headed for the exit.

Not needing to be told twice, Elliot straighten the files on his desk, turned off his computer, and stood up to slip on his coat.

"You need a lift home, Liv?"

Olivia, who was stacking up her own files, smiled at Elliot and shook her head.

"No thanks, I'm going to walk. I might stop for dinner some place on my way home."

Elliot nodded, knowing from experience that it would do no good to argue with his partner once she made up her mind.

"Be careful, Liv. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, El. Tell Kathy and the kids I said Hi."

"I will." He gave her a small wave and smile, then left the squad room.

After shutting down her computer and retrieving her own coat in preparation to leave, Olivia's cell phone rang and, thinking that her free time had just evaporated, looked down at the caller id. Relief flooded over her at the name on display and she smiled as she answered on the next ring.

"Benson."

"Hey Ben, what's up?" Abbie Carmichael's voice came over the connection as she pulled her car to the curb out in front of the precinct in order to surprise her old friend.

"I am heading home. What's up with you, Tex?" She made her way to the stairs, opting to skip the elevators and just walk down to the lobby of the building. Olivia shrugged into her coat as she went down the three flights.

"Do you have any plans for the evening?"

"Ooo are you asking me out on a date?" the brunette teased her southern friend. "I was planning on getting a bite to eat on the way home and then going to bed at a decent hour."

"Boring!" Abbie sing songed into the phone. "Let's go to a movie or catch a play or do something else. You could stand to have a little bit of fun."

"Fun? Hmmm…what is this fun you speak of?" Olivia teased again as she walked out of the building and paused, spotting the lanky attorney leaning against the side of her Cadillac CTS. She raised a brow and pressed the end call button on her phone as she walked toward the slender woman.

"What brings you here? Is there another case you need to steal?" Olivia truly wasn't upset about the Samuelsen case, but she just had to razz her friend about it.

Abbie, who had put away her own phone, pressed a hand against her chest.

"I'm wounded, Ben. Can't I just come to see an old friend?"

"Mmhmm. You know and I know that you're full of shit." Olivia smirked and opened the passenger door of the sedan and sat down in the leather seat. Abbie went around the car and got in behind the wheel and looked over at her friend as Olivia clicked the seatbelt into place. "Home, James."

"Presumptuous aren't you?"

Olivia gave her a cheeky smile and ran her hand along the dashboard.

"Nice car."

Abbie chuckled and pulled away from the curb. They drove in silence for a few moments and Olivia rested her head against the supple leather seat. As Abbie stopped at a red light, the detective looked over at her old friend. She was comfortable in the other woman's presence and felt relaxed for the first time in days. However, it had been a long week and she still had another workday left.

"I'm really tired, Abs. Why don't we plan to do something another night?"

"You're getting old, Ben," Abbie's voice was soft and affectionate. "Tell ya what, why don't we pick up some steaks at the store and I'll take you back to my place and we can just hang out and talk."

Olivia watched the other brunette and scowled just a bit.

"Why do I feel like the other shoe is about to drop?"

"Because you're paranoid?"

"What are you up to Carmichael? We haven't talked in months and suddenly you show up on business and then you want to be my best buddy."

Abbie signaled and eased her car into the left turn lane and glanced over to Olivia.

"I'm spending some time with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a long time, is that a crime?"

"You're up to something and I'm going to discover what it is, so you may as well tell me now."

Abbie said nothing and made her way to a small butcher's shop and parked out front. Before getting out of the car, she looked at Olivia. While she did have an ulterior motive for talking with the cop, she wasn't about to put all her cards on the table yet.

"Look, I just want to catch up with my friend, okay?"

Olivia, she head still resting on the car seat, huffed a little, playfully glared at Abbie, then smiled.

"Okay, okay. I give. I want a ribeye," she winked and closed her eyes to rest while Abbie ran in into the shop for the meat.

* * *

A quick rap on her door had Alex looking up from her desk curiously as her door opened to reveal a familiar blonde.

"Hey, I'm glad I caught you before you left." Serena Southerlyn slipped into the opened doorway and greeted her former colleague.

"Wow, there must be something in the air this week," Alex said jokingly as she got up from behind her desk and went over to hug her friend.

"Why do you say that?" Serena released Alex from the hug and sat down in one of her guest chairs.

"You're the second friend whom I haven't seen for awhile that has made a sudden appearance."

Serena nodded knowingly and smirked a bit.

"Well, if that other friend is Abbie Carmichael, she's invited both of us to dinner at her place. She called me earlier and said she is grilling some steaks and has one for each of us."

Alex took the other guest chair and looked at the pile of work on her desk and then to the other blonde, the hint of a grin on her lips.

"So, you and Abbie are talking again?"

Serena sighed slightly and resisted rolling her eyes.

"Yes, we are talking again, but it's not what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"That me and Carmichael are going to hook up again. I like her, she's sexy, but…," Serena gave a slight shrug and looked away for a moment.

"She broke your heart," Alex softly finished for her as she reached over and lay her hand atop her friend's.

"She bruised it pretty badly, that and my ego," her friend gave Alex a half-smile. "We're working on being friends again."

"Just be careful, Rena. Abbie's a playgirl and I don't think she will settle down any time soon."

"So, not to change the subject," the blonde managed a smiled, "but I am. Are you going to come to dinner or not?"

"Hmmm…I'm probably just a chaperone, but I am not going to turn down a free steak dinner," Alex chuckled softly.

Serena wrinkled her nose at her friend for her teasing and took out her phone to text Abbie and let her know that Alex would be joining them for dinner. Putting the phone away, she glanced at Alex and motioned her out of the chair and toward her untidy desk.

"Well, let's go blondie, finish up so we can get out of here."

* * *

Abbie was humming to herself as she tore some romaine lettuce and baby spinach into bite size pieces for a salad. She had the steaks marinating and the grill getting hot on the patio and corn on the cob in a pot of hot water on the stove. Finishing with the greens, she wiped her hands and took two beers out of the refrigerator as she went into the living room to check on her guest.

Olivia was surfing through the channels on the large flat screen television that Abbie had hanging on the living room wall. She took the last sip from her first bottle of beer and placed the empty on the coffee table and glanced up at Abbie.

"Are you sure I can't give you a hand?" she lifted her chin toward the kitchen as she took the bottle the other brunette offered her.

"Nope, I have it all under control."

Abbie twisted the cap off her beer bottle and took a sip as she eased back on the sofa. Reaching for the remote, she changed the channel to CNN, ignoring Olivia's scowl when she did. Lowering the volume, she let her head rest back on the sofa and glanced to her friend.

"How do you like working with Alex again?"

Olivia's scowl deepened and she took a long drink from her beer before answering.

"It's good for the squad. She's the best ADA we've had, present company excluded of course."

"Mmhmm, flattery will get you nowhere," the smoky voiced attorney teased. "But, that's really not the question I asked. How do you, Olivia Benson, like working with Alex again?"

Olivia took another long sip and sighed as she put the beer on a coaster on the coffee table.

"If we are going to talk about Alex Cabot, I am going to need something stronger to drink." She got up and headed for the kitchen and Abbie's stash of alcohol. Abbie followed her into the kitchen and retrieved the marinating steaks from the refrigerator as Olivia found a bottle of tequila and set it, along with two shot glasses, down on the kitchen counter.

"None for me, Liv. I've got to cook and I don't want to burn these steaks."

"More for me then," Olivia teased as she poured herself a shot and downed it, then poured another. She carried the second shot with her as she followed the Texan onto the patio and watched her place the steaks on the grill.

"You must be hungry tonight, Carmichael. There are two of us and four steaks," she downed the second shot and grimaced slightly at the burn in the back of her throat.

"No wonder you're a detective," Abbie smirked as she let the steaks sizzle on the grill and went to retrieve her beer. "I invited a couple of mutual friends over while I was in the butcher shop, I hope you don't mind."

Olivia picked up her bottle and took another sip from it, eying the attorney as she reclaimed her spot on the sofa. On her second beer and having had two shots of tequila on an empty stomach, Liv felt the beginnings of a pleasant buzz, but she was suspicious of Abbie's motives.

"You are up to something. Fess up, Carmichael."

"Are you always this paranoid, Liv? I just thought it might be fun to have a small get together and spend some time with friends." Abbie busied herself in the kitchen finishing up the salad before going back out to check on the steaks. It was cold outside, but she had a gas heater on the small balcony and, with the grill going, it was comfortable.

Liv watched Abbie move from kitchen to balcony as she was finishing up dinner and couldn't help but feel she was being set-up. Deciding to not dwell on her suspicions, she went back to the kitchen and knocked back another shot of tequila and got herself another beer.

"You should slow down on that stuff," Abbie advised as she watched her friend from the kitchen doorway.

"I have a feeling I am going to need it," but she did put the bottle of tequila back in its proper place.

"I'm hurt that you don't trust me, Ben."

Olivia chuckled and went back to the living room and sprawled on the sofa again. She rested her head on a throw pillow and looked over to the beautiful brunette.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I just know you too well. Who are your other dinner guests?"

Before Abbie could answer, the door buzzer sounded and she offered Olivia a smirk as she buzzed up her guests.

"I guess you're about to find out. Do me a favor and go check the steaks? Please?"

The detective eyed her for a moment before she got up, knowing that Abbie was just trying to get her out of the room, and went to the balcony.

"Thank you!" Abbie called after her. She went back to the kitchen to check the pot on the stovetop. Removing the ears of corn and placing them on a platter, she set the platter on the stove as her front doorbell rang. With long strides she went to the door and opened it, smiling at her guests.

"Serena, Alex, I'm glad you both could make it," Abbie gave each blonde woman a hug and kiss on the cheek as they stepped into her apartment.

"Thank you for the invitation. You're saving me from another night of take out," quipped Alex as she slipped her arms out of her coat.

"Let me take your coats." Abbie helped Serena with hers and then took Alex's as well and headed for her spare bedroom. "I'll hang them in here."

Olivia checked the steaks as requested, using a pair of tongs to flip them over and gently poking them to test their firmness. If too firm, they would be overdone, if they were too soft, they needed more time on the grill. These were just a bit soft, but it wouldn't be long before they would be perfect. Wiping her hands on a towel, she made her way back inside.

"Abs, another ten minutes," she called out behind her as she slid the glass door to the balcony shut to keep out the cold wind.

Turning, she paused at the sight of the two blondes before her.

"Serena, Alex," she said hesitantly.

"Olivia, it's good to see you again," Serena gave the detective a pleasant smile.

"Yeah, Serena. It's been awhile."

Olivia wasn't sure whether to be mad at Abbie for inviting Alex or gloat to the brunette lawyer that she had been right about Abbie's little set-up. She also didn't know how to react to Alex's presence. While she was still mortified by the events at the courthouse, she would be lying to herself to say the mere sight of the blonde didn't make her heart beat faster and her palms sweat.

"Hello, Olivia," Alex gave her a tender smile.

Abbie walked in on the exchange of greetings and gave a conspiratorial wink to Serena as she passed by her.

"What would you ladies like to drink? How are those steaks doing Liv?" Abbie tried not to smirk, but couldn't help it as the other brunette glared at her. It was going to be an interesting evening, a very interesting evening.


	9. Chapter 9

**I apologize for the extended absence. I lost my way with the plot for a bit, then I was dealing with a serious medical condition. I had what I thought was the flu and afterwards I was coming home after work absolutely wiped out and too exhausted to do anything else. In late October, I ended up having heart surgery because my pericardium was filled with fluid. I am much better now and managed to corral my muse so I can continue this story. I hope you enjoy it and I will endeavor not to have another such absence again.**

**Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing and am only doing this for pleasure, not profit.**

* * *

Serena reached into her attaché and lifted out a brown bag, obviously containing a bottle of wine, and handed it to the thin brunette.

"I picked up a bottle of Merlot. I know you and Alex will enjoy it," she smiled softly at Olivia. "I hope you do as well."

Irritated with her friend, Olivia all but snatched the bottle from Serena with one hand and gripped Abbie's forearm with her other.

"It sounds wonderful. Excuse us ladies, I think Abbie needs some help with the drinks" she gave the blondes a tight smile as she all but pulled Abbie from the room.

As they entered the kitchen, Olivia dropped the taller woman's arm and frowned at the Texan.

"What the hell, Abbie!"

The other woman took down four wine goblets from an overhead cabinet and set them on the counter. Pulling a corkscrew from a drawer, she took the bag from Olivia and withdrew the bottle of wine from it, seeming to ignore her irritated friend as she did so, the smirk on her lips still firmly in place.

"How were those steaks coming along?"

Olivia muttered under her breath about how impossible the Texan could be and reclaimed the bottle of wine and the corkscrew from her hands. With a nod toward the door, she glanced quickly at Abbie before working on dislodging the cork from the bottle.

"You might want to go check on those steaks…traitor."

Abbie chuckled low in her throat and squeezed Olivia's shoulder as she passed.

"You'll thank me later."

The shorter brunette snorted slightly and finished pulling the cork from the bottle of merlot. She splashed some into each goblet and set the bottle back on the counter. She palmed two of the goblets in one hand and took another with her as she moved back to the living room and the awaiting blondes.

"Ladies, your drinks." She smiled and offered a goblet to each woman, both of whom had settled themselves on the couch. She sat down in a nearby armchair and took a sip of the wine. She briefly wondered if it was a good idea to be having the wine on top of the other alcohol she had already had, but then decided to throw caution to the wind with the thought that being a little drunk might help her get through the evening.

Each woman sipped on their wine as their minds raced for something safe to talk about. Serena, who hadn't seen the brunette detective for some time, decided to end the silence, which was rapidly becoming awkward.

"It's been a while since I've seen you Olivia, how have you been?"

Olivia smiled at Serena, genuinely grateful for her attempt at small talk.

"I've been well, busy as always. I am sure you remember how it is, no rest for the wicked," she smiled slightly, her eyes glinting with faint amusement. "Criminals never seem to take any time off."

Serena chuckled lightly as she held the goblet by its stem and sat forward slightly, putting her a short distance from the brunette.

"I didn't know you were wicked detective."

"Oh, I have my moments." Olivia leaned forward to put down her wine and her dark gaze glanced quickly to Alex, then shifted to regard Serena again. "I heard you took a position with Legal Aid, that's very noble of you."

"I don't know about noble, but I wanted to do something worth while. I just couldn't see myself working at a large corporate firm and I really don't need the money, which is good because I get paid almost as much as I did when I first joined the DA's office out of law school," she smiled, almost flirtatiously, at Olivia. "I'm also teaching a law course at City College two nights a week."

"You're a busy lady these days. I'm glad you took the time to come out to dinner tonight," the brunette returned the smile with a crooked one of her own. She sagged back in the chair, the combination of exhaustion and alcohol beginning to take its toll on her leaving her a little lightheaded. She ignored the lightheadedness and focused her gaze on Alex for a moment. "I'm glad you both came out."

The other blonde narrowed her gaze slightly at Olivia, seeing the telltale signs of her inebriation, signs that only those closest to the brunette would know. She glanced at a beer bottle still sitting on the coffee table and wondered how many had been consumed before she and Serena arrived. As Olivia sat up and reached for her wine glass, she spoke out with a sharp edge to her voice.

"Don't you think you've had enough tonight?"

A slight frown marred the olive toned face of the detective and she looked at her former lover. She felt a surge of annoyance rush through her at the blonde's words.

"I'm sorry, I must have missed the proclamation giving you the right to question my actions," Olivia snapped back taking the goblet in hand and taking a long sip from it, as if in defiance.

Serena, looked back and forth between the two women and wondered if she should join Abbie on the balcony rather than witness the emotional powder keg that seemed primed to blow. As she was sitting the closest to Olivia, she reached out in an innocent attempt at distracting the other woman and lay her hand on Olivia's knee, squeezing slightly.

"You look tired Olivia, you work much too hard," she kept her tone light and soothing. "I can make you some coffee to help perk you up."

"Don't you mean sober up?" Alex snapped back as she glanced at Serena's hand on Olivia's knee, a spark of jealousy igniting within her.

Olivia's goblet was placed back on the coffee table with a bit more force than necessary and it tipped over, spilling the rest of its contents across the wood grain and cracking the glass. Olivia quickly came to her feet, oblivious to the resulting mess, her face reddening with anger.

"Fuck you! What I do or don't do is none of your damn business, Alex. You gave up the right to question my actions a long time ago."

Alex came to her feet as well, stepping toward the other woman.

"I also don't have to sit here and watch you get drunk and act like a trollop either," she started to step around the others.

"A trollop?" Olivia laughed harshly, bitterness and hurt creeping into her tone. "That's rich coming from you. The sheets weren't even cold on your bed before you were flirting with me in your office and demanding your key back from Steele."

The harsh words stopped Alex in her tracks and she looked to the brunette, her blue eyes narrowed.

"Don't, Olivia," she warned.

"I'm not a toy you can take down from the shelf when you get bored with the others," the anger and the hurt spilled out from the brunette, too intoxicated to edit herself. "You grew bored with Robert, then Steele, so you came back to SVU to fuck with my head some more? If all you wanted was a good screw, you could have called me a long time ago and we could've had at it, but…," a sharp slap stung her cheek, interrupting her rant.

As soon as she had done it, Alex's eyes went wide in shock and she gasped, bringing the stinging hand up to cup her mouth.

"Olivia…," she spoke softly, unsure what to do or say.

The brunette's jaw twitched and her hands clenched at her sides in an effort to keep some semblance of dignity. Saying nothing, she lifted her head slightly and fought against her rising emotions to keep the stinging tears from falling. Her expression hardened, but was quickly replaced by a façade of nonchalance. Without a word, she turned on her heel retrieved her leather jacket from the closest and walked out of the apartment.

"Olivia?" Alex called after her faintly, just before the door closed behind the brunette. She started after the other woman when a touch on her arm brought her up short.

"Alex," Serena's spoke to her softly, gently. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I have to talk to her."

"She's too angry right now, she won't listen to you."

Alex sagged a bit and her head hung for a moment.

"I've really fucked this up, haven't I?"

When Serena didn't answer right away, she looked at her friend and received a soft smile and a slight shrug. Alex sighed and looked at the door again, wanting to go after Olivia.

"I'll go," Serena gently rubbed the other woman's arm.

"Go where?" Abbie's smoky voice asked lightly as she came into the living room carrying a platter filled with the grilled steaks. The grin lighting her face and twisted into confusion as she glanced around the room. "Where's Liv?"

Serena sighed when Alex didn't answer.

"She left," the former ADA went to retrieve her own coat.

"Left? Why?" It was then she noticed Alex's look of guilt and the mess on the coffee table. She delivered the platter to the dining table and followed Serena when Alex remained silent. "Serena, what in the hell happened?"

She shook her head as she shouldered on her coat and picked up her attaché before stepping toward the door.

"Talk to Alex, I'm going to go after Olivia to make sure she gets home okay. She's had too much to drink and doesn't need to be trying to get home on her own."

Abbie sighed and nodded, walking her the short way to the front door of her apartment.

"I'll take care of this one," indicating Alex with a slight backward motion of her head.

The blonde nodded and gave Abbie a small peck on the cheek.

"Maybe next time, Tex."

The taller woman gave her a wry smile and nodded.

"Call me later, let me know how things are going."

Serena gave her a slight smile, a nod, and left the apartment on her mission to chase down the fleeing detective.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the next chapter in the saga. This chapter is Liv-centric and the next one will probably be a bit more Alex-centric. Thanks for the well wishes and encouragement from all of you. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. I will try to be more timely in updates, but I appreciate your patience. As always, please read and let me know what you think by putting in a review.**

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC still own it all. I am merely playing with their toys.**

* * *

The cold stung Olivia's wet cheeks as she thrust her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket and ducked her head against the winds buffeting against her. She shivered, but seemed oblivious to the cold as she tried to make her way to the subway station a few blocks from Abbie Carmichael's apartment. A light snow began to fall, skittering across the pavement with the wind's gusts and dampening her dark hair.

She felt as if her heart were in a million pieces and hated it. She hated the vulnerability she had shown in front of the others, in front of her, and she hated how easy it was for Alex Cabot to get under her skin. Olivia Benson was even starting to hate the fact that she had ever let herself fall in love with the beautiful blonde.

With her head bent against the sharp wind, she didn't see the dark blue Prius pulling around the corner in front of her and blocking her path. As she approached the street, her gaze landed on the car and she frowned as she looked up to examine it more closely, as her heart thudded against her chest as adrenaline coursed through her veins. In her line of work, it wasn't unusual for people to be abducted right off the streets and dragged into a waiting get away car. The cold had helped to clear her head enough for her cop instincts to kick in and she stood back from the vehicle.

Her hands balled up at her sides as the dark tinted window eased down. She was prepared to fight if she had to, but her heart thumped at the idea of what could be behind that dark glass.

"Liv?"

A blonde head leaned over from the driver's seat and Olivia felt a rush of relief cascade over her.

"Serena. Dammit, you scared the hell out of me," she growled, her words harsher than intended. Olivia stuffed her hands back into the pockets of her jacket so she could hide their slight trembling. Taking a deep breath, she took the two steps toward the car and looked inside, the warm air from the heater a welcome relief to her cold face.

"I'm sorry. Get in, I'll drive you home."

Olivia offered a small smile and looked at the other woman for a moment. She looked away and shook her head, her pride not allowing her to accept the favor from the blonde.

"I'm fine, Serena. The subway is just another block from here."

"I wasn't asking you, Liv. Get. In."

She huffed but opened the car door when she heard it unlock and took a seat in the warm interior. Releasing a small sigh as the heat began to thaw her

"You're kinda bossy sometimes."

Serena reached over and wiped away the remnants of tears from Olivia's face. She smiled softly and rolled up the passenger side window before putting the car in gear.

"It's one of my better attributes."

Olivia gave her a slight smile as her tears were wiped away, her face flushing with embarrassment. She settled into her seat for the ride home and turned her head to look out the passenger window.

Serena glanced over at her as she drove down the side street.

"You never have to be embarrassed with me, Liv. You know that."

The brunette didn't respond for several long seconds. She didn't want to seek solace with the other woman right now, but she didn't want to be discourteous either. She released a soft sigh and reached up to wipe more tears away, tears she barely registered having fallen. Finally, Olivia turned to face her friend.

"I'm just not good company right now, Serena."

A soft smile played on her lips as the blonde reached a hand over to take the other woman's and squeezed it gently in support.

"I don't need you to entertain me, hon. I'm here whether you want to talk or not."

Olivia nodded her head, but didn't reply. Her gaze seemed fixated on the street as they continued to drive in companionable silence. Her mind was a turmoil of emotions. Love, emptiness, hate, and defeat warred together and she suddenly felt exhausted. She closed her eyes and slid her hand from the blonde's to rub at her forehead, a headache building behind her eyes.

Serena remained silent, allowing her companion to sort through the conflicting emotions she knew the other woman was dealing with. She and Olivia had been friends for a long time and she knew when to give the other woman some space. Serena had just accepted a position in the District Attorney's office and Olivia had just received her promotion to Detective when they met.

They had met at a bar, a lesbian club, in The Village. Serena was celebrating her new job with a couple of women she had gone to law school with and Olivia had been dragged there by a couple of colleagues to celebrate her promotion. The two small groups of women had met when one of Serena's friends had recognized one of Olivia's companions as an old friend from her neighborhood.

As the women became acquainted, Olivia and Serena had struck up a conversation and traded phone numbers. About a week after they first met, Olivia ran into Serena at the DA's office and they decided to meet up for dinner that night. The two became friends, seeing each other for lunch or dinner on occasion and calling each other at least once a week to catch up. They had dated briefly, but when Serena found out that Olivia was bisexual, she resisted taking their relationship beyond making out and heavy petting sessions. She had always thought Olivia was attractive, but she didn't want to start something serious with her only to get left behind when the brunette met Mr. Right.

They kept in contact over the years, but with both of them having demanding jobs, it would sometimes be months before they saw each other or talked on the phone. It had been several months since they last spoke and it had surprised the ex-ADA that Alex was back working with the Special Victims Unit.

She knew it couldn't be easy for Olivia. She knew Olivia had felt betrayed by the lack of communication with blonde lawyer when she had returned to New York. Serena had seen the photos of Alex Cabot's return to New York society in the newspaper and the announcement of her engagement a few months later. After seeing the announcement in the Sunday edition of The Ledger, Serena immediately left her apartment and headed over to see the detective. She knew the other woman would be devastated, even if she tried to hide it from everyone she knew. Despite trying to move on, the brunette was still madly in love with Alex and Serena knew she would be heartbroken by the engagement.

* * *

_Serena hailed a cab, then checked her watch. It was still relatively early for most people on a Sunday morning, 9 a.m. She felt confident though that Olivia was already up and catching up on chores the busy detective had been unable to get to during the week. She briefly wondered if she should call to find out if the brunette was even home, but, as she slipped into the back of a taxi, she decided to just go over to her apartment. If she wasn't home, Serena would just head to the precinct, the only other place she would most likely be._

_Giving the address for Olivia's apartment to the cabbie, she sat back and wondered if the other woman had even seen the morning paper. She sighed, knowing she had, Olivia was a creature of habit and the first thing she usually did in the mornings was set up the coffee pot and read through the newspaper once she had a steaming cup of coffee in hand._

'_Damn you, Alex.'_

_Not only was she upset for Olivia, but she was upset that the other blonde attorney seemed to be ignoring her and everyone else that was in her life prior to her time in WitSec. She knew Abbie Carmichael hadn't heard from her, she would have told Serena if she had. Serena and Alex had frequently gone out to lunch or dinner together, occasionally went shopping during the weekend, and worked on cases together when Homicide and SVU cases intersected. She had thought they were more than passing acquaintances. _

_She couldn't begin to imagine how slighted Olivia must have felt when she found out that Alex had come back to New York and made no attempt to get in contact with her former partner. Serena had called the brunette after rumors began circulating in the DA's office about Cabot's return, but all she got out of the detective was one word answers indicating she had heard the rumors and she was fine. However, the attorney knew better. _

_Olivia was an expert at hiding her emotions, but Serena noticed a shift in the other woman's demeanor after that stilted conversation. The detective was hurt and angry, but she kept it bottled up and focused her energy on her job. Serena knew not to push her to reveal how she truly felt. Olivia would come to her should she need to or when she was tired of shouldering the burden alone._

_Serena's awareness came back to the present as the cab jerked to a stop in front of the detective's apartment building. She paid the driver, climbed out of the cab, looked up at the building and took a deep breath before she walked in. She easily jogged up the four flights to Olivia's apartment and took another deep breath as she listened closely trying to detect any sounds or movement coming from within the it. Hearing nothing, she knocked on the door and waited._

_She kept listening closely and didn't hear anyone approaching the door from within the apartment after her first knock, so she waited a few more moments and tried again. This time her knock was heavier and lasted a few more seconds than the first one. After another pause and still hearing no movement, she began to think she was knocking in vain, that Olivia had gone out to run errands or she had been called into work. Deciding to try one more time, she banged on the door._

_Finally she heard the locks on the door being undone and a blurry eyed brunette tugged the door open to scowl at her. _

"_S'rena, want are ya doin' here?" _

_Olivia's voice was hoarse and her eyes red. The blonde could tell her friend had been crying and, from the smell, probably drinking._

_She practically pushed her way into the apartment and slipped off her jacket, slinging it over the back of a chair. Her gaze took in the apartment. Nothing seemed out of order, it was as neat as usual, but she did notice the opened newspaper on the coffee table. The picture of Alexandra Cabot and her fiancé was staring up at the ceiling from the newsprint. Serena turned to look at her friend._

"_So, you know."_

_Olivia wasn't going to feign ignorance and just nodded, moving around the other woman after she had closed and relocked her door. She went into the kitchen to put on some water for hot tea._

_Serena followed and noted the half empty bottle of scotch sitting on the counter._

"_It's a little early don't you think?"_

_Olivia followed her gaze and frowned slightly at the other woman._

"_I was called out last night and didn't get in until early this morning. I had a couple of drinks, then found...that," she nodded toward the coffee table._

"_Have you been to bed yet?" Serena asked as she moved around the small kitchen, retrieving mugs and discreetly putting the scotch away._

_She turned toward the brunette when her question went unanswered and saw her staring at the teapot as it was being heated. Stepping up behind her, Serena snaked her left arm around the detective's waist as her other hand shut off the burner. She rested her chin on Olivia's shoulder._

"_Liv, you need to rest. Why don't I run you a hot bath and you can relax, then go to bed."_

"_Serena...," Olivia began, her voice soft, but she stopped and sighed. Her body went limp within the other woman's embrace. She was too tired to object and a hot bath sounded wonderful. "Okay."_

_The lack of fight from the brunette surprised the blonde, but she didn't question it, she just acted. Taking Olivia's hand, she gently pulled her from the kitchen and toward the bedroom. She left the brunette in the bedroom, instructing her to get undressed and found her bathrobe and lay it on the bed for her. Moving to the bathroom, she began filling the tub with water hot enough to sooth tired muscles, but not be uncomfortable. Finding some bath salts, she added some lavender to help relax the detective._

_When the tub was filled to the desired level, and Serena felt she had given the brunette enough time to change into the bathrobe, she left the bathroom. Going back into the bedroom, she stopped at the sight before her and felt her heart go out to the other woman. _

_Olivia, wearing the bathrobe, sat slumped on the side of the bed, her face buried between her hands and her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. Though she tried to muffle the sound, her heart wrenching cries caused tears to prick Serena's eyes and she hurried from the spot in the doorway to her friend. Sitting besides her, the blonde reached out and pulled Olivia to her and cradled her close._

"_Let it out, baby. I've got you...let it out."_

_That was the only time the attorney could remember seeing Olivia so vulnerable, so devastated and not bothering to hide it. _

* * *

"Serena?" Olivia regarded her friend, placing a hand on her thigh

The blonde blinked, pushing away the memory, and looked at the other woman.

"You missed the turn."

"Oh, sorry," she blushed.

Serena refocused her attention on her driving and took the next left turn as they headed for Olivia's apartment building. She glanced over to her friend, who was looking back out the passenger window, and silently cursed Alex Cabot again.

"Oh what a tangled web..."


	11. Chapter 11

Hi everyone!

I apologize profusely for the long, long delay in post this next chapter. My muse struggled with an important aspect of the story, one that is being revealed in this chapter and I think I finally found a solution for the dilemma. I also make my living as a freelance writer, so sometimes when I am done with work for the day, I don't have the mental energy to do anything else. However, now that the dilemma I had seems to be resolved, the story should get easier to write.

Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Catch me on twitter Ictcowgrrl and say hello.

* * *

Abbie sighed as the door closed on the retreating Serena and she turned back to Alex. The blonde was using a couple of cocktail napkins to try and sop up the spilled wine, but was making little progress. The tall brunette remained silent as she walked to the kitchen and got a clean dish cloth and went back to hand it to Alex.

"This might work better."

Alex looked up from her bent over position and took the offered cloth.

"Thanks."

She cleaned up the mess and picked up broken wine glass and the soaked napkins as Abbie looked in confusion.

"So, do you want to tell me what happened?" the lean Texan asked.

The blonde gave a frustrated sigh and carried the trash over to the waste bin and tossed it angrily into the plastic container.

"I screwed everything up, as usual. I let jealousy take over my brain and got mad at Olivia, then I slapped her."

That caught Abbie's attention and she looked over from the dining table to the other woman.

"You slapped her? Wha-why?"

Alex finished washing her hands and dried them on a paper towel. She sighed and leaned against the counter, dropping her head as she pinched at the bridge of her nose.

"She accused me of only wanting to be with her for sex. She said I was bouncing from Robert to Jim to her because I needed someone in my bed."

"So...do you?"

The blonde's head snapped up and she glared at Abbie, her blue eyes as cold as ice.

"No."

Abbie stood her ground, trying not to be affected by the cold fury displayed by Alex.

"Look at it from her point of view, Alex. You've been back almost three years and you never contacted her. You two were in a serious relationship, not just colleagues who hung out for fun."

Alex opened her mouth to defend herself, but the brunette continued before she even had a chance to draw a breath to speak.

"She read that you were back in the newspaper, Alex. You never returned her phone calls and then she had to read about your engagement. How would you have felt in her shoes?"

"I know, I know. I should have gotten in touch with her when I was allowed to come back, but...I just couldn't."

Alex ran fingers through her hair and let out another sigh.

"I felt so...disconnected from everything and everyone. I needed time to find myself again. Instead of finding myself again, I morphed into what every one else wanted me to be. The good, dutiful Cabot heir with a handsome, successful fiancé and political power at my fingertips."

Alex began searching through Abbie's cabinets, opening the doors and closing them in rapid succession.

"Where do you keep the good stuff, Tex? I need a real drink."

The tall brunette chuckled softly and shook her head.

"You and Olivia are two peas in a pod," she retrieved a bottle of scotch and two tumblers from her cabinets and indicated the table to Alex. "Go sit and fix yourself a plate. I'll bring the hooch."

Alex didn't argue, there was no point. Besides, the food smelled good and she only had coffee for breakfast and a light lunch at her desk. Going over to the table, she sat and began putting food on her plate.

The tall brunette went over to the table carrying the two filled tumblers and sat one before the blonde, watching her for a moment.

"I don't know how you can eat like a lumberjack and not gain an ounce."

Abbie took a seat and speared a steak with her fork and lifted it to her own plate.

"I only eat like a lumberjack, as you so eloquently put it, when I'm stressed or upset."

Abbie watched silently as Alex filled her plate and started to eat. She lifted her tumbler of scotch and took a sip before putting it back down on the table and start to place food on her own plate.

"So, now what are you going to do?"

Alex sighed as she finished another bite of her steak and shifted some of the other food around with her fork.

"I don't know Abbie. Maybe I wasn't wrong the other day, maybe we've both changed too much to try and recapture what we had."

Abbie sliced into her own steak and thought for a moment. She cut off a bite and chewed it thoughtfully as she looked at the blonde attorney. She swallowed and had another sip of scotch before voicing her thoughts.

"Well, you could be right. Maybe it isn't about recapturing what you had, maybe it's about starting over and using the past as a foundation. You love her and you know she loves you, but a lot has happened to both of you in the last three years."

Alex sipped from the tumbler of scotch and sighed as she sat it back down.

"I don't want to start over. We've been through too much to pretend our past relationship never happened."

"I'm not saying forget the past or start over completely, too much water has gone under the bridge for that. Just...get to know who each other is now. A lot of things changed Alex," Abbie looked over at her friend. "For both of you. Acknowledge it and learn about each other again."

The blonde smiled slightly.

"When did you turn into Oprah?"

Abbie snorted just a bit.

"I just want you two hard heads to give each other another chance, a real chance. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried."

The brunette tossed back what was left of her drink and looked at Alex, a slight furrow to her brow.

"Is Steele really out of the picture?"

Alex put down her knife and fork, closed her eyes for a moment and nodded her head as she sighed.

"Honestly? He never was in the picture. He was a warm body and an excuse not to marry Robert."

"You need to tell her that."

It was her turn for an unladylike snort.

"If she will listen."

* * *

Jim Steele dropped his briefcase and keys on top of his table as he thumbed through the stack of mail he had received for the day. Tossing aside the junk mail and bills he had already paid online, he dropped the rest next to his keys. Moving to his dining table, he sat is briefcase down on it and opened it up. Inside was a manila envelope that he removed, opening the back as he did.

Sliding out three 5x7 glossy photographs and the smaller versions he had made the copies from, he sat them on the table and moved over to the kitchen and removed a cold beer from the refrigerator. Just as he popped off the top and took a swig, his cell phone rang.

Swallowing the beer, Steele glanced at the phone briefly. He didn't recognize the incoming number, but he was expecting a call from someone he had tried to contact earlier in the day.

"Jim Steele," he announced brusquely.

"Mr. Steele, this is Ed Tucker from the Internal Affairs Bureau. I'm returning your phone call from earlier today."

Steele took another drink from the beer bottle before sitting back down at the dining table and loosening his tie.

"Ah, yes. Thank you for returning my call, Lieutenant. I wanted to file charges against one of New York's finest and I was told to call your office."

Steele's voice held a smugness that caused Tucker to frown, but he picked up a pen and found a notepad. Turning to a clean sheet of paper, he readied himself to get the information he needed.

"What type of charges Mr. Steele? Who are you wanting to press charges against?"

Steele glanced down to the photos as he spoke. He picked one up and scrutinized it carefully. It looked to be the most recent picture in the batch he had borrowed. The two women in it sat close together, too close for friends. Smiles lit up both of their faces and an olive toned hand rest on a pale one on her own thigh.

"Mr. Steele, are you still there?" Tucker looked at his watch and wondered whether this phone call wasn't just a waste of his time.

"I apologize Lieutenant, I got caught up with something," he cleared his throat and placed the photos aside. "The charge is battery. The detective struck me without provocation. You may know her. Detective Olivia Benson."

While Steele knew the charges wouldn't stick, it would make her squirm a bit to have IAB poking their noses in her business. Maybe while IAB was harassing her, he could talk some sense into his former girlfriend.

That definitely got Tucker's attention.

"Detective Benson you say?"

"Yes, Olivia Benson."

Tucker put pen to paper and began writing notes.

"Tell me what happened Mr. Steele."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everyone! Thanks for continuing to follow this story. I will try to update faster now that my muse has decided to come back for a visit. As always, leave a review and tell me what you think. Enjoy.**

* * *

Anyone who worked in the police department knew that if you wanted to catch a detective at work, you either had to get to their precinct as their shift started or wait until it was almost time for them to go home. If you tried to go to their precinct in the middle of the day, it was likely the detective you wanted to see would be in court or out investigating a case.

It was close to 8:30 when Lieutenant Ed Tucker walked into the SVU bullpen and looked around as he walked toward Cragen's door. He noticed the detectives were there beginning their shifts, sorting through paperwork and finalizing reports. Not saying a word, he continued toward his destination, the Captain's office.

Olivia sat at her desk in a relaxed pose. She had the bottom drawer of her desk opened slightly and her booted feet were propped on it, crossed at the ankles. She was reclined slightly in her chair with a file open on her lap and a pen being tapped slowly against her chin as she read over a report before signing it.

She glanced up as she heard someone enter the room and stopped fiddling with her pen as she spotted the IAB investigator. Elliot was retrieving a cup of coffee for himself and was walking back toward his desk stirring it when he saw Tucker strutting into the squadroom. He exchanged a quick glance with his partner and looked at Tucker again.

"Someone call the exterminator, we've got rats."

Olivia chuckled lightly and went back to her report, clicking her pen to expose the ballpoint. She signed her name, closed the file and tossed it into her outbox. She then looked at Tucker as he put his hand on the Captain's doorknob.

"You might want to knock, he's been on the phone with the 1PP all morning. He doesn't like being interrupted. He's got better things to do then put up with your harassment."

Tucker didn't respond. His jaw flexed as it tightened slightly and he opened the Captain's door and stepped inside the office. As he did, Olivia looked at Elliot and shrugged.

"Can't say I didn't warn him."

She took another file from her inbox to finalize.

* * *

Cragen scowled as his door was opened and he put his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone.

"I'm busy!"

He yelled before he saw who it was entering his office without knocking. The frown on his face deepened and he held up a finger and pointed to a chair before his attention was drawn back to the phone.

"Okay, yes, I will get that to you today. Yes, I understand," he fairly growled irritably. "Okay, yes...by 5 today."

The conversation ended and the Captain hung up the telephone. He rocked back in his chair just a bit looking at Tucker with an exasperated expression on his face.

"What do you want?"

Tucker regarded Cragen for a moment and reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and withdraw a notepad and some folded papers.

"I received a complaint against one of your detectives last night," he opened the notepad without bothering to glance at it. "It seems one of them got a little violent with someone in the courthouse yesterday."

Cragen nodded slightly as he watched Tucker.

"There was an incident and I spoke to the detective involved," Cragen wasn't giving Tucker any more information than he absolutely had to concerning the incident.

"I didn't find an incident report, Captain."

"That's because there isn't one Lieutenant. I received the information from courthouse security and I had a talk with Detective Benson. I saw no need to make this formal," Cragen rocked forward and laid his forearms on the desk eying Tucker. "Benson is a great detective and one man's inability to control his jealousy shouldn't be held against her."

Tucker just looked at Cragen passively as he spoke.

"Well, with his complaint, the matter is out of your hands. I will be filing an incident report and putting it into her jacket."

"Are you going to bother investigating the incident or are you just going to take his word for what happened, file a report and lay the blame at Detective Benson's feet?"

"It could be worse, Captain"

Tucker took the papers he removed from his jacket pocket and laid them out in front of the Captain. There were three copied photographs of Alex and Olivia. While not damning, the photos clearly depicted a close relationship between the two women. The Captain fought the urge to sigh.

"What do these have to do with anything?"

The IAB Lieutenant looked at the Captain with a bit of surprise on his face.

"You don't seem surprised to learn that your detective had a close relationship with the Assistant District Attorney assigned to the squad."

A slight grin lifted one corner of Cragen's mouth as he pushed the papers back toward Tucker.

"They are friends."

"Friends? A deeper relationship was implied by Mr. Steele."

The Captain shrugged a shoulder and leaned back his chair again. He adjusted his tie and looked nonchalant as he regarded Tucker again.

"So what if there was? Those pictures were taken over three years ago, closer to four really. They are friends, nothing more."

Tucker grimaced a bit, slightly shocked by the Captain's cavalier attitude toward a relationship that could call into question the integrity of his department and the objectivity of the DA's office.

"If this relationship is disclosed, every case that was tried by Ms. Cabot for this squad could be put under the microscope in order to find any indication of collusion. Every defense attorney will want a new trial for their case. That will cost the city millions of dollars and the department will be made to look bad. That doesn't bother you Captain?"

"It would if I hadn't already known about their relationship Lieutenant Tucker. You see they disclosed their relationship to both myself and ADA Cabot's supervisor at the time, EADA Elizabeth Donnelly."

Cragen almost cracked a smile at the look of consternation on Tucker's face after he revealed this tidbit of information.

"Detective Benson and ADA Cabot were forthright in disclosing their relationship and there was never any hint of impropriety. So...if that is all you wanted..."

"Nice try, Captain. This incident still can't be swept under the rug now that a complaint has been lodged. I will need to speak with Benson and take her statement."

The older man sighed as he stood up from his chair and moved toward the door to his office.

"Of course not, Lieutenant, and I'm sure this has nothing to do with your hard-on for my squad."

"I'm just doing my job," Tucker sat there smugly as Cragen opened the door to call out to his female detective.

"Benson," he called out and motioned to his office once she looked his way.


End file.
